i am off to p-groove...after i rectify the fact that i look like edward sissorhands, that is. the sun is out in the nj and yesterday was a very bad day. paradox. the only thing to do for today is to get into a car and drive away...drive all the pain away...drive all misery away...write a song...miss claudio...my hand is all better but now it's ( Read more... )

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parts of me have been dying ( Read more... )

this bass, claudio, is my friend. he hurts my fingers but i shall make him love me too. spin round carosol when you're horse isn't screwed in...this is monopolizing my brain...it's music and i cut my finger nails because claudio said they were in the way...i do what he says, this bass, and he's so beautiful like the real claudio who's a voice a ( Read more... )

we're now up here alone ( Read more... )

i haven't written anything substantial in so long...there has been this block, at first i thought maybe a fear of spitting out feelings but that can't be the case...this pen is my best friend...i am overly emotional and perhaps and protecting myself from myself...potential words that maybe i am not yet able to handle. for instance....i realized ( ( Read more... )

i feel absolutely clueless....graduation has not yet hit me neither has kevin...i am in the hub i am at school but i don't have anymore homework. i am wandering and there are expectations. i have absolutely no idea what to do with myself and i can't stop crying. p-town is tainted. i can't bare to be here much longer...it's already been too long ( Read more... )

i need to take a shower and wash the filth of desparation and self loathing from my body...what the hell and am doing and why is it never right. i then need to clean my ears out so that i can listen...to myself for once. let water run over my eyelids, not so that i am unable to open them but so that when i do i may see through water...another ( Read more... )

nevermind

i guess this is what life is supposed to be like...damned if i do and damned if i don't. in this case, what exactly does one do? end all relationships out of fear of being viewed as malicious...try to love myself alone because even my best efforts to love seem to be futile...i am beginning to believe that it is pointless to express how i feel and ( Read more... )