it is late, can't ride anymore, so back home, or my actual place of dwelling for the time being, my french paper is saved, unfinished, and minimized on the desktop...i think i'll need another smoke in order to continue this vague of procrastination. i will finish...soon i know, i have just been distracted and needed to go for a drive. this place ( Read more... )

...the discinigration of my brain or the hole in my soul...the fingerprints left like typewritten words on my body..or their footprints...permanant marker-like-soaked in blood from an open wound in the arch..some tread and were cut but in self defense much like the porcupine's survival-unintentional, subconscious...everyone else wants to run it ( Read more... )

so here i find myself in front of the computer, not doing homework, drinking wine from a box and letting energy make me worrisome....worrisome energy....energy is worrisome. i often wish it was not this way...my existance with energy, my worrisome existance. sometimes i just want to get in my car and leave...flee from all that is worrisome. but ( Read more... )

when i don't have much to say, i tend to want to talk about the surface, where i am not so much alone. it comforts you that i have said some things and i don't feel so unsubstantial, so we both win. what if something happens to the surface? things are always happening; damage, wrinkles, sunburn. but those are things we can use when we don't have ( Read more... )

i am thinking dramatically, trancelike nostalgic about something so far away, I feel i never lived but i know that i did. It's a very warm night, high rise, crickets chirping to my left, city noises to the right. I hear life moving-honking, laughing, crashing, ignition catching ( Read more... )

i feel as though my space has been invaded. my life lived by another whom i really no longer know. no longer do have my own domain and i am diluted like some asshole diluting windshield washer fluid with water. i will never know this feeling that i have fantisized of because i have invented it. it does not exist. it is not real. it is guilt ( Read more... )

Ha...that's what i get for never being ok but i suppose i need this mentally i don't dare copy what i have recorded in my book it's gory and product of udder insanity im sorry if im acting strange im sorry if im not myself i need time to figure me out...ME ME ME...heh, i wish i could focus but i am absorbed into other energies i have zaps in my ( Read more... )

reflections almost always ( Read more... )

mmmm camera ( Read more... )