one street lamp glows
through broken blinds to create
this muted omnipresence.
i do not expect a miracle.

ghastly, you are
to leave so suddenly.
but then again,
it's all in the contract
and this fake glowing god just makes time
go slower.

and so it turns. pages, clock hands, ballet toes and steering wheels. the sky is bright but it feels damp like old sweaty sheets from the night before. where is my refuge ( Read more... )

it's cold enough to see my breath but the patterns in my frozen windshield make things seem okay.
it's all a front anyways so we might as well make it good.

my body throbs and cramps. i want to sob but there's no point. nothing changes. i want to call and beg you to help me but i wouldn't know what to say and you wouldn't be able to do anything. this cycle is killing me and i can't decide if i want it or not. the mornings are nice but these evenings are cruel and as the sun sets i die a little bit more ( Read more... )

this fridge hums tunes unimaginable and i hear birds at this time but i'm leaning towards the machine. blinking dots and glowing embers and sirens and sirens and sirens. there are so many voices but this company is so poor my eyes swell and sweat. i feel sore like a slightly broken limb ( Read more... )

i just want to sleep..

faster faster faster.
chlorine drowns me and
my lungs are filled with this
dirty pool.
cough and pieces fly from a mouth,
a nose.
eyes tear, swell, mat.
so i ask "when did this become
the price?"
but my mind fails to find
when it wasn't.

i have so much to say but so few words that can be really said. what? this is a new low, these powder drips. i mean it's so familiar but not as smooth. disgusting, but what else can i really do now? time is running against me and now i find myself desperate for some control even if it's just this. just this. what else can i really do now? i think ( Read more... )

so this becomes my cage. corralled and confined by stale quarter bottles of wine, impounded by crooked paintings, detained by missing blinds. you know, we're always waiting. wondering when your turn is going to be, or has it already happened? the pieces fit and crumble. pills to wake up, pills to sleep, pills to numb in the processes. everything in ( Read more... )

and in an instant i lose meaning. judging myself by these words, a value: devalued ( Read more... )