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captains log ( Read more... )

I have homotoerotic tendencies.

Me: I listened to them for six months
Jimmy: Wow, that's half a year, and a fourth of two years.

(trusty chords playing in the background)
Me: I heard Hot Water Music play this live
Jimmy: And now you've heard it on my stereo

October 16/17th...
I went to the Hot Water Music concert with John. Probably one of the greatest nights of my life. They didn't play like...four of my favorite songs, but it was still unbelievably awesome. It's gonna be tough to top tonight.

"I should've said something" is becoming the motto of my life.

Me: how's that first beer after work?
Dad: It's GREAT!
Me: Beer is so discusting
Dad: When i was 19, my brothers gave me 4 or 5 beers and I got wasted! After that, i said...Im never doing that again! How can you drink this crappp? But look at me now!!

There is something a little ironic about that.

Me:I have to take a crap ( Read more... )

How to make a Alex Broking
Ingredients:

1 part chode

5 parts fag

1 part deep throat
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Top it off with a sprinkle of emotion and enjoy!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Me: Hey mom!! (while i am jokingly scratching my butt in a very exaggerated manner just to look stupid)
Mom: What!? You have butthole problem?!

Me: I'm gonna take a crap and rub it all over the wall
Dad: I'll rub that shit all over your face

So i was crapping the other day and i realized that my window was open. I then realized that i could see the next door neighbors window through my window. I then realized that if someone looked out my neighbor's window, they could see me taking a crap. I should probably close the curtains to that window from now on ( Read more... )