LJ Idol Topic #26a: Turtles All The Way Down, Take 2.

[the_vernacular]

Six days before I left for boarding school, Gran tried to make me leave Doggy Bear behind. She kept telling me that girls my age didn’t have stuffed animals and everyone would think I was a baby if I showed up with a raggy-eared dog-bear-thing. Eventually, I hid him at the bottom of my trunk and figured that if that was true, I’d hide him under

Comments

[theafaye]

I think this is my favourite rewrite of all. I love how you worked in the story so you had a link to the other entry but it was almost throwaway because that wasn't the focus any more. Great stuff!

[the_vernacular]

Thank you so much, that's so kind! I felt like if I was going to revise it, it made sense to really push the revision and strip the story all the way down to the basics and build it back up again.

[cheshire23]

This rocks.

First of all, that it's a teen makeover story where the makeover doesn't solve everything instantly.

Secondly, the use of the old folk tale. Especially the ending.

Third, I've known a lot of people like Laura was at the beginning of the story. You portrayed that thought process so well - the "it's all different and fascinating and exotic but I don't have to understand it, just admire". That's the other reason I like the ending so much - it seems like she really did learn something and like it actually stuck.

[the_vernacular]

Thank you! I think that's one of those things that you see a lot-- and as a white woman, I think I've experienced: when because you don't experience racism first hand, you don't really realize how ingrained it is into your own perspective and the perspective of other white people, and when you start to become aware of it in your own thoughts and actions, you just assume that if other white people noticed what they were doing, they'd stop. It's very hard when you become aware of racism coming from people you otherwise really like and want to defend.

And yeah, I read an article about makeover movies earlier this week and I've been thinking about them. They kind of drive me nuts. I remember the first time I watched The Princess Diaries and part of making Mia pretty was straightening her naturally curly hair. Really pissed me off!

[similiesslip]

I agree. I love that the makeover DIDN'T work. Because often it doesn't. It's the ATTITUDES that need to be made over.

Some people seem to want someone to hate. If the object of their hatred changes, they just pick something else about that person to hate. The problem is with the HATER, NOT with the looks etc of the one they hate.

[beautyofgrey]

Oooh, I really like this retelling, and the way you took the original piece and worked it into a story arc of your own.

[the_vernacular]

Thanks! I said this to theafaye above, but I felt like it was a good way to approach a revision week-- by really stripping the story down to its barest essence and rebuilding it, trying to look at the elements of this story that people didn't like the first time, and the elements of my other entries that people have regularly complimented throughout the season.

[java_fiend]

I love the alternating viewpoints as well as the retelling of the old folk tales. I think you did a fantastic job revising your piece. Great job.

[vaguelyclear]

I'm kinda glad I never had to experience too much of this when I was teenager. Sheesh.

Loved the ending!