I need a release and so I dug up my old secret el-jay. hoorah ( Read more... )

Today was not a good day.
If death was easy then I swear...
It was one of those days.

Living can get so hard. Suicide's harder.
And like my parents say...
I'm lazy.

Just one of those days.

I'm going mental over the smallest things. Out of my head.

Bored of doing art so let me rant.

Sooo he came back and yeah. He's living with his dad in a town about 15 - 20 minutes away and I can only see him about once a week. Saturday, mostly. But not this weekend due to homework. He hasn't got a job yet but he seems pretty happy. All good.

I've come to realise that while I love him, I'm just not in love ( Read more... )

So, my abandoned cellphone just started ringing. Guess who it was ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm on the border of our destruction. I can cross this border right now and the results will be catastrophic, so I won't. Skirting around the border will only put off the inevitable... because I've looked up and I've seen that the border to our destruction does not end. It goes on forever. And some day, I'll cross the border ( Read more... )

"I can't do this". That was all I could think went he left. But now that feelings gone :] It's a bit like he was never part of my life at all, really. Except that I'm always thinking about him. But it's like... I'm talking to Chloe more. Things are going back to the way they used to be ( Read more... )

"I love you Laura, I never realised it was possible to love anybody so much".

That's the single best thing I have ever read. <3
God, why do I have to be negative all the time? How could I ever be angry at him when he comes out with something like that.

I've already written back. And sent it. Haha. He's the fucking best!

Only been two days since he's gone. I usually wouldn't have seen him by now anyway, had he been here. Well, maybe. Tuesdays and Thursdays. But it feels like forever. Probably the lack of contact all together. No letters yet. Which makes a lot of sense. But I'm kind of scared to see how long it will take him. What if he never writes? I need him to ( Read more... )

I cried a lot last night. Made me feel better. I haven't cried today but he's just... always on my mind. Just like this time last year. But things were different then. We weren't together then either but he was here. Here but not together. Now he's over there and we're together. Doesn't make much sense like that. What's better? I think this is. I ( Read more... )