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I haven't been this annoyed since The Emo Mansion Kids sang along to "Alison" by Elvis Costello in their living room. Wankers. -
meatus at the park
I tell you what: Quaker Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal is the hoi polloi. I was so pleased to find a box in the cereal aisle of my local Baker's this evening that I very nearly shouted, "It's a fucking classic!" into the cauliflower ear of a nearby geriatric. I am quite serious about that particular outburst. It almost happened. I'm not sure why ( Read more... ) -
Der weisse Wal macht mir Angst!
I'm not much for movies, but hot damn! I love 2001: A Space Odyssey. I love it because it is boring. I love it because of (and not in spite of) its dumpy looking cast. I love it because people universally gripe about the ending. I love it because it looks so fucking cool. I have watched 2001 four times over the past week. The late 60s would ( Read more... ) -
me and my mate were back at the shack, we had spike jones on the box
And so I have regained the unbearable lightness of unemployment.
I woke up today around two and went out to buy an ink ribbon for my old Brother Charger 11 typewriter. I write much better when I'm in the midst of trying on a brand new pretentious indie facade. It also helps that I cannot yet access porn sites on this typewriter ( Read more... ) -
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I have tentatively broken things off with Murray. I informed him that having to write about one more aluminum beach chair would probably do me in. I am currently on some sort of Ricky Williams probationary hiatus while the league of internet furniture racketeers waits for me to recuperate from my flake-out. It is possible that I will change my ( Read more... ) -
you'll be out on a breeze
This relates to one of the great myths of the working world and I am naive to have not recognized it prior to writing a few hundred 180-word essays about cribs, but ( Read more... ) -
knock, knock, knockin' on Kevin's door
I humored myself into believing that rewriting 97 blocks of cribs.com copy would be easier and faster than writing 97 copy blocks from scratch. Not true. Editing is going to give me an aneurysm. The a-hole that wrote these first drafts got away with copying and pasting entire paragraphs. He repeats the same three sentences regardless of the ( Read more... ) -
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Radiohead and Beck are headlining Bonnaroo this summer. Think of it: for 100-some dollars, you can spend a weekend bathing in and drinking from a lead-spiked Tennessee spring. I am considering it. Then again, that I watched the lead singer of Les Savy Fav strip down to a Speedo and hump an inflatable raft for ten bucks at Intonation last year ( Read more... ) -
It don't mean a thing if it ain't sung by Sting
I went on a bike ride to clear my head of adjectives and found myself in an alleyway behind a paint shop. There was a back door labelled "Babes" and I wondered for a while what was on the other side. Then, it turned suddenly cold, so I bought a Frappuchino from the BP and biked back home. The neighborhood skaters sniped me with a pellet gun as I ( Read more... ) -
don't the moon look good, mama
Murray: I wear many hats.
He really does. One of them has a feather in it.
