All in All You (1/2)
All in All You | theblobmaster | PG-13 | Kai/ChanYeol minor! ChanYeol/EXO | Language and stupid exes | 13.150
written for eexiee at sncj_santa
The first part of the shoot went surprisingly smoothly, ChanYeol thinks idly. BaekHyun hadn’t once made him do ridiculously hard poses or demanded that he had to put more feeling; you know the thing you don’t possess, in his expressions. The small feisty photographer had been rather docile, letting ChanYeol work the Levi’s jeans like the supermodel he is without any jabs to bring down his ego. Despite his wonder of why it is BaekHyun has such a grudge against him, it was after all the other that broke up with ChanYeol. He always found it amusing with all the sharp words. Especially the defeated look of annoyance on BaekHyun’s mousy face every time ChanYeol pulled off the ridiculous poses BaekHyun insists on him doing, which would say every time because ChanYeol is amazing and there’s nothing he can’t do.
The reason why shows up soon enough in the form of a tall guy with tousled dark brown hair, sleepy eyes, lips made for kissing and sun kissed skin. ChanYeol didn’t know he had a new co-model today, he would’ve prepared for it. As much as he could, because you know, he’s amazing. He’s ready with a wide smile to greet his new prop when the other takes place behind BaekHyun’s precious, don’t you fucking dare even think about touching it, camera. ChanYeol’s mouth falls open in a gasp of disbelief. No one is allowed to touch that camera so why is the new model guy touching it? He’s about to open his mouth in protest when BaekHyun glares at him and claps to get all the models’ attention.
“This here is JongIn. He’ll be helping me with taking some of the shots. ChanYeol you’re up first. I want passion for once and not those dead eyes you always try to give me.” It’s a grumble and nothing near as vile as usual. ChanYeol doesn’t let it throw him off, instead he drapes himself over the concrete block provided, hooding his eyes as he stares directly into the lens and then the flashes start and he runs per automatic. Poses provocatively and seductive, he almost forgets who it is behind the camera until an unfamiliar voice asks him to place himself front faced against the wall and look over his shoulder. It makes ChanYeol pause a bit, because that’s usually a pose for females and ChanYeol is nothing like a female as his very much exposed and flat chest should indicate, but then there’s that voice again and ChanYeol can’t figure out if he likes it or not as it repeats the request. The words formed slowly as if it’ll help him understand it better and out of the corner of his eye ChanYeol can see BaekHyun laugh at him. He is nothing if not a professional and follows the direction, sultrily staring down the camera. It’s not unexpected when the new photographer grasps the camera and goes up close. What is unexpected is when he lays on the ground and clicks away. ChanYeol is starting to feel slightly like a porn model.
Silently the flashes of white stops and then one of BaekHyun’s countless assistants are ushering him off the set. ChanYeol’s not sure what to do when he’s almost pushed into tanned arms and a lean chest. He certainly doesn’t count on being blinded by a flash of teeth before being straightened and left alone in the changing room.
Amazingly enough, ChanYeol thinks when he opens the newest Vogue Korea, the pictures turned out great. Even with the weird angle it only serves to make ChanYeol’s already long legs look longer and the jeans that hangs low on his hips hugs his ass just right. ChanYeol hadn’t even noticed the details of the back pockets and those had been captured perfectly.
“You know when I first saw the ad I thought it was a girl, but then again you do scream like one when given it hard.” JongDae is poised like a smug cat beside him. “Shut it tiny human, like you could fuck me. You can’t even reach.” Lips curling even more, ChanYeol’s not sure how it’s possible to look so much like a cat, “Oh you want to try that theory? You always were a good fuck.” Blowing a raspberry at the tiny photographer, ChanYeol shuts the magazine and gets into the dressing room and lets them pull and push at him until he’s ready. Today it’s JongDae’s snarky remarks and flirty suggestions he’ll have to go through. How did he end up having dated half of the photographers in the business?
To say that ChanYeol is surprised when he shows up for his Vans shoot and it’s JongIn alone behind the camera is an understatement. Usually SeHun, unfortunately another one of his exes, is the one that takes the few shots for a rare Korean campaign. A young guy that despite his permanent bored face during shoots takes some of the best action photographs ChanYeol has ever been in. He’s also one of the needier and clingier boyfriends he’s ever had, and he never really got over ChanYeol calling him an obsessive clingy twink. So the surprise is rather welcome actually. He hasn’t fucked JongIn and JongIn can’t possibly have any grudge against him… yet.
“SeHun-sshi is doing another shoot today so I’ll be taking care of you.” The previously slightly mocking voice is traded with a polite tone and ChanYeol’s eye twitches. “Please take care of me.” He barely keeps himself from using a biting tone to answer. There’s a lilt to his plush lips that irks ChanYeol uncontrollably. “Or maybe I should just take care of myself. I’ve heard you’re quite the photographer seducer.” There’s a bark of laughter and then a stylist comes pulling him away before he can retort.
More like photographers like to seduce him, ChanYeol thinks bitterly.
Working with JongIn is a lot easier than it normally is with a newbie. He’s not hesitant when telling ChanYeol what he wants from him and it’s nice for once without a biting remark at the end or cautious eyes. ChanYeol is one of the biggest in the industry and a lot of the newbies fears his status. JongIn doesn’t, ChanYeol really likes that.
“Just like that, good. Now jump for me.” JongIn calls out and ChanYeol follows poising his limbs gracefully even in the air. JongIn is once again beneath him and ChanYeol stares at the camera with a wide smile. He has a hard time looking away as a tongue sweeps across a fat lower lip underneath the lens. “That’s perfect, now kick out for me. Backwards please.” It’s almost like playing around with some friends and ChanYeol smiles and laughs genuinely on the pictures instead of his usual practiced grin that makes girls and boys alike swoon. “That’s a wrap, thanks for your hard work.” With a mimic of JongIn, ChanYeol bows back.
“Hey, can’t you take over for SeHun permanently?” JongIn is hunched in front of a small screen looking through the different pictures with a small frown on his face. “Unfortunately not. Despite SeHun-sshi being seemingly utterly grateful for not having to look at your quote douchebaggy asshole quote end face.” ChanYeol makes a frown for himself at the words, “Did he really say that? He used to love my face.” Amused JongIn chuckles with eyes focused still on the screen. “I can see why. It’s pretty.” ChanYeol doesn’t flush, he’s a supermodel. He’s completely used to compliments like this. Except JongIn actually seems to mean it and ChanYeol can feel the heat in his cheeks so he abruptly turns around and stalks away from the outdoor set.
Only to return seconds later because, really he has no idea where and how to get away from this godforsaken skate park. His manager is still nowhere in sight and ChanYeol could really use KyungSoo right now. “You waiting for someone?” Too close, too sudden, ChanYeol jumps a meter in the air. “Yeah, no. Don’t do that ever again, thank you.” JongIn is looking so self-satisfied with the reaction and ChanYeol almost thinks about how cute that look is. Almost. “Have you seen my manager? Reaches around my waist, bulging eyes and big lips?” Just as he finishes he can feel a hit landing on his lower back. “Shut it doofus and get in the car. We have a sudden schedule. See you around JongIn-ah.” JongIn waves with an easy smile and ChanYeol is confused.
“What is it? Stop staring unless you want me to drive us off road and into a ditch.” Finally blinking with his eyes stinging from the dryness, ChanYeol turns his head away from his manager. “How do you know him?”
“Who?” The grin KyungSoo is most likely sporting is not hidden by his voice and ChanYeol scoffs. “You know who.” KyungSoo merely shrugs before looking in the rearview mirror, “I know him through Luhan.” Fuck, everybody but Luhan. Worst ex ever. “Why of all people does it have to be Luhan?” ChanYeol groans into his hands, KyungSoo pats his head not all that sympathetically. “I warned you didn’t I?” There’s not even a way of retorting, KyungSoo did warn him.
Luhan looks like an angel. Honey blonde hair creating a halo around his innocently designed face, wide childish eyes, pointy nose and soft colored lips. His personality was just as sweet as he looked, only a little bit on the crude side. For the year they dated ChanYeol believed he had found his true love, then Luhan decided that his new lightning assistant was much more interesting and ChanYeol was left with an aching heart. Out of all the break ups that somehow always ends up with him being on the I’m breaking up with you end, the one with Luhan hurt the most. So of course life, as always when it comes to his love life, decided to be a bitch and let the new beautiful photographer be friends with Luhan.
ChanYeol really feels like screaming. Luckily KyungSoo is used to it and hits him on the throat three seconds in. Silence is once again restored in the car.
The sudden schedule is started by ChanYeol walking in on Luhan trying to stick his hand down MinSeok’s pants and screaming at the sight. At least it gains him the attention of the photographer. “Hey old fucktoy, how’s it hanging?” Luhan asks with a wriggle of his eyebrows. Luhan may look like an angel but he is the spawn of Satan and ChanYeol wishes for someday to strangle his long pretty neck. “Hi MinSeok hyung.” He says and walks straight past Luhan without a second glance. Behind him he can hear MinSeok reprimanding Luhan with a few slaps followed by Luhan’s whiny sickly sweet Minnie-boo.
“So what are we doing?” ChanYeol asks impatiently, turning around just in time to see MinSeok sliding out of Luhan’s arms and the blonde looking sadly after him. “Don’t worry loverboy, it’s going to be a quickie.” Eye-rolling at the innuendo ChanYeol stares Luhan down unimpressed. “Fine if you’re going to be so boring. TaeMin bailed at last minute and you’re the only other male model with a face pretty enough to pass this concept off.” It’s a lie and Luhan knows that it’s obvious. “No really what am I doing here?”
“After your last spread with Levi’s, you’re back in high demand because of the sudden vulnerability you displayed or whatever. Anyway TaeMin bailed, you’re popular, fits the concept well enough. Now go in and get ready so we can get on with it.” Luhan waves him off annoyed and then ChanYeol is swept away by a stylist as he so often is.
So ChanYeol’s not by any means a troublesome person. He goes along with all the concepts thrown at him with a smile (sometimes accompanied by KyungSoo’s fingers pinching him in the side) but, “What the fuck man? Why am I in a fucking wedding dress?” Extensions are added to his maroon hair and his makeup is done femininely and goddamn he does not want to know how Yura is going to look on her wedding day, but apparently now he does. “Don’t worry hun, you look amazing.” ChanYeol really wishes looks could kill because Luhan is not making this any better at all. “Thank you and may I ask who my supposed husband might be? And why the fuck am I in a fucking wedding dress Luhan?” Something akin to sheepishness crawls across Luhan’s features before they’re settled back into haughty. “The androgynous look is in and this eccentric bridal shop wanted to use that and your husband. Well you’ll see. She’ll be here shortly.” Something in the tone makes ChanYeol’s stomach clench uncomfortably.
Suddenly the studio falls silent and slow deliberate footsteps are heard. ChanYeol clenches his eyes shut, there’s only one he knows that gets that reaction every time he walks into a studio and he really wants to strangle Luhan now if it’s who he think it is. “Luhan I will kill you if you don’t let me beat up his kid.” Wide eyed ChanYeol turns around and almost chokes on the air. Wu ‘Kris’ Yifan, ChanYeol’s only ex to ever have been taller than him is dressed in a pale pink long-sleeved sheath dress. A long wavy wig secured on his head and his makeup soft. If not for the muscle build, ChanYeol thinks, he could’ve easily passed off as a girl too. “Kris release Zitao. He’s done nothing wrong just doing his job. Which I must say is done quite well. You look like a bridesmaid the bride should be worried about stealing her man.” Luhan shoots ChanYeol a meaningful look, “or maybe it’s the other way around?” ChanYeol flips him the finger and waits (im)patiently, tapping his foot annoyed and he forgets that he’s wearing heels that clinks obnoxiously against the floor. Soon enough SooYoung comes out dressed as the bridegroom, smiling widely at him. “I have such a pretty bride.” SooYoung is tolerable at least and she’ll joke so much with the height differences and the stairs and boxes she has to stand on, maybe he’ll forget that he’s in a room with two of his exes.
After a lot of teeth clenching, sharp remarks and forced happiness towards his supposed bridesmaid and photographer, ChanYeol storms out of the studio. Barely letting himself have enough time to change out of the god awful last dress. KyungSoo does look sincerely apologetic and he’s ready with ChanYeol's favorite hot Choco-latte when the model slips into the car.
“I really had no idea. I knew Luhan was going to be there but not Kris too.” Right now ChanYeol kind of fucking hates how he can’t get mad at his manager. “It’s fine.” KyungSoo lets him sulk for the rest of the ride to his apartment complex. Luckily tomorrow is a day off, and then he can stay in bed and moan about his sad life to his ceiling.
“KyungSoo I love you and all but why are you at my apartment at eight am on my day off?” It should be obvious that he didn’t sleep much and judging by KyungSoo’s eyes bulging more than usual, it is. “Yeol you look awful. Why didn’t you sleep?”
“Yeah, well guess who just woke me up after I had just fallen asleep?” KyungSoo mutters a small sorry before going in to the kitchen to fix some light breakfast and a cup of coffee for ChanYeol. Something he’s not going to like is up. KyungSoo only ever mothers him when he’s feeling sorry about something. “My day off is cancelled isn’t it?” He groans, smacking his head down on the white surface of his kitchen table. “Yeah, sorry. It’s a light schedule though. Not more than a very private and small meeting with JongIn. He called me yesterday.” With lazy eyes ChanYeol watches KyungSoo flit around his large kitchen, expertly finding and creating wonderful things he’s sure. “Yeah? What did he want?” Sending ChanYeol a smile over his shoulder KyungSoo starts chopping some vegetables ChanYeol can’t find the energy to identify. “He likes you, you know?”
Such a compliment, everybody likes ChanYeol. Well, everyone but his exes. “Wow, I’m honored the newbie photographer likes me. I can’t stop my joy from overflowing.” Clucking his tongue disapprovingly at ChanYeol's sarcasm, KyungSoo continues. “JongIn isn’t a newbie. He’s been one of the best travel and wildlife photographers for quite some time now. For some reason he wanted to venture into fashion suddenly.” Oh, ChanYeol didn’t know that. Huh, interesting. “Anyway he called me yesterday, asking me if I could clear your schedule for a month.” He places a plate of stir fried vegetables and a sunnyside up egg in front of ChanYeol before seating himself across the tall model. “What for?” ChanYeol asks around a mouthful of delicious food. “Don’t talk with your mouth full it’s disgusting. He’s gotten an exclusive deal with High Cut that wants to release a special edition magazine with the top models at the moment. Luckily enough you’re still one of them. A ton of photographers had been invited to the briefing and originally JongIn was just tagging along to see how these kinds of briefings goes but then he saw you on the board as one of the models. Of course I’ve already talked to them about it months ago so really it’s cool.” ChanYeol’s already finished with his breakfast and is now cradling his cup of coffee. “Back on track. JongIn saw you and seeing as it would be one photographer assigned per model and almost only your exes were present and they want nothing to do with you. So he offered to take you and he got it. He didn’t go into much detail about what it is he wants to do with you for a month alone, but he’s coming over in-” KyungSoo glances at his watch. “- twenty-five minutes to enlighten us. So get dressed and brush your teeth. I’ll take care of the kitchen.”
JongIn shows up, sleep still in his eyes and hair tousled. He’s in a simple black shirt and jeans. ChanYeol is still not really over the fact that this man is not a model when he clearly has the looks for it. KyungSoo has made small snack sandwiches for them and it’s the first thing JongIn reaches for when he places himself at the end of the table, chewing it down quickly. With a grateful smile he accepts the cup of coffee KyungSoo has brewed him and chucks it down in the same lazily hurried way as the sandwich. “Thank you hyung.” Finally his eyes open and he starts looking around ChanYeol’s large studio apartment. The bathroom is the only enclosed area with tinted glass walls, the rest of the wide space is split into small corners by book shelves and artsy decoration objects. “You live cozily. I hadn’t thought it would be like this, but I guess earth colors suits you well.” It’s brings a wry smile on his face because it’s his ex, Yixing, that had decorated it. The mild mannered interior designer is one of the few exes that ChanYeol can still talk to and he actually enjoys his company a whole lot. They meet up once in a while and just sits on the long leather couch and talks with a cup of tea in their hands. It’s a nice friendship. A rare one.
Apparently JongIn isn’t one for chit chat and goes straight to business. “So the reason why I am asking for a month alone with ChanYeol is simple. Most of the other photographers is going to be following their model around for a month and then ask them a few questions. It’s a fine idea but boring, nothing new really.” He’s pulling out a worn out deep blue notebook, pages half ripped out and stuffed in again, loose papers stuck almost carelessly in between pages full of hurried scribbles. “I was thinking how about we recreate all the biggest and most important shoots you’ve had in your career? Of course with a twist or two since otherwise there would be no need for me. I spent all night researching your career. So I’m thinking we’re starting with your very first ever photo-shoot.” JongIn’s rambling slightly and fumbling around with all his papers and notes, ChanYeol really doesn’t care how they do it. He’s fine with whatever. JongIn should really stop looking at him and start talking to KyungSoo because in the end it’s only him that can give the okay. It’s cute how excited JongIn seems to be over this. He’s talking with his hands and explaining everything in detail pointing at sketches that looks professional and ChanYeol can easily see which of his photographs they are drawn after.
“I’m impressed JongIn.” KyungSoo says after a little break of silence. “You’ve really done your work, not that I expected anything else, but it’s really well done. I’ll see what I can do okay? I might not be able to get a whole month free for you but I can get most of a month free.” JongIn beams and ChanYeol feels his heart stop for a moment. “ChanYeol-sshi? Or can I call you hyung?” Absentmindedly ChanYeol nods. He can’t tear his eyes away from the soft curve of JongIn’s eyes when he smiles. “Hyung, can I take a few photos of you here? Now? Like this?” ChanYeol looks down at himself, his faded Spider Man pajama bottoms and a loose black t-shirt. He hadn’t gotten dressed like KyungSoo had asked him to. “Sure why not?”
KyungSoo manages to get them first half of December for themselves, only a fitting or two for some year-end fashion shows in between and ChanYeol troops up on the first of December in front of the Han River at seven am sharp. JongIn is nowhere in sight and ChanYeol sighs watching his breath turning to fog. There’s a light snow falling already and ChanYeol hopes that the couples on the twenty-fourth will be walking along the streets in a light shower of snowflakes too. Fifteen minutes later JongIn shows up, hair disheveled and pressed down by a sloppily put on beanie. His big puffy winter coat is almost consuming him despite his tall height. His cheeks and nose is colored red from the cold wind and weather but his smile when he spots ChanYeol is bright enough to shine through the still dark sky. “Hyung! You’re here. Sorry, I was stuck in the subway.” He starts running, equipment on his back and ChanYeol can’t help but roll his eyes. JongIn clearly will never be a fashion photographer. “I’m picking you up tomorrow instead okay?” Normally he would have accompanied it with a hair ruffle but a beanie is in the way today.
“So what is it you have planned today? Shouldn’t you at least have a lightning assistant or something?” JongIn merely shakes his head and pulls ChanYeol along over to some toilets, pressing a bag into his hands. “Put this on and then come out again.” Incredulously ChanYeol stares at the plastic bag now in his hands and then up at JongIn. “No makeup or hair styling?” Bottom lip between his teeth JongIn shakes his head and ushers ChanYeol inside. Well that’s interesting.
Carefully, as if something will jump out, ChanYeol opens the bag and inside is something he really didn’t expect. At first he can’t really recall why it seems so familiar. It’s a pair of denim overalls, a red snap back and a simple white t-shirt. Then he fishes out the picture at the bottom of the bag. It’s him clad in the same kind of outfit at the age of five. It’s the only photo-shoot he ever did as a child and he thought no one knew of it, but JongIn did apparently. Quickly dressing himself in the same way as on the picture he can see the differences in the clothing. His overalls now are more figure sown and not quite so simple, pockets big and loose. Like in the picture he has one of the straps down and the other up so the white t-shirt is shown more. A small smile appears on his face as he looks at the picture and tries to imitate his five year old self. “Hey are you done soon?” JongIn calls out and snaps ChanYeol back into the present. Opening the door with a soft smile he looks down at JongIn. “Really? You found out about this, how?” Waving him off JongIn motions for him to follow him further down the river park. They stop in front of a small playground and before he can stop himself ChanYeol laughs.
“We’re really recreating this picture?” Eagerly JongIn nods and starts to set up his camera. “Of course, it’s the most important picture really. The very first photo-shoot supermodel Park ChanYeol ever did and it’s forgotten? Outrageous.” The exaggerated disbelief in his voice has ChanYeol laughing once more. The sun is finally rising and the playground is soon enough splayed in the red colors. “Now hyung. Over to the swings and pose in the same way.” Quickly ridding himself of his long winter coat ChanYeol stands in front of the swings and puts his hands in the pockets of the overalls and makes his widest smile while leaning a bit forward. It’s refreshing the way his light brown fringe falls into his eyes and his face is bare. He continues to try to recreate the love and the excitement for life he had as a child, smile widening more naturally and eyes softening as he starts to feel a happiness bubble inside him.
“Perfect. Put on your coat we’re done here.” JongIn says as he packs down his equipment.
They get breakfast at a small café pushed into the corner of a tiny alley and ChanYeol goes out to the toilet to change into his casual black outfit once again. When he comes back out again JongIn is sitting at one of the plush seats with a cup of warm beverage between his fingers, nose almost dipping into the foam at the top. His beanie has been pulled off and the hair hasn’t been straightened from the disarray. It looks as soft as it is. In moments like this ChanYeol wishes he was the photographer to capture the soft aura of happiness that JongIn radiates. Taking a deep breath and stealing one lingering glance at JongIn’s side profile ChanYeol goes forward and dumps himself into the plush chair across JongIn. A large cup of Latte is waiting for him alongside a small blueberry muffin on the table between them. Without a word ChanYeol relaxes into the chair and lets silence envelop them comfortably.
ChanYeol drives them to the next location, a rundown tall hotel in the outskirts of Seoul. JongIn leads him up the many stairs and unlocks a door located in the other end of a long corridor full of exact replicas of the door only the number above them being different. Beige colors turned yellowish and the paint is peeling off and cracking. The feeling is slightly like the beginning of a horror movie and ChanYeol feels a shiver run down his back bone just as the door creaks open. The insides of the room are not much better at all, but the sheets on the bed at least seem clean and there are no suspicious red spots on the carpet. JongIn thrusts another similar black bag into ChanYeol’s hands and points him towards the bathroom. Ignoring the pointing finger ChanYeol starts to strip down there in the middle of the room. He doesn’t notice how JongIn gulps and averts his gaze pointedly.
In the bag this time there’s nothing more than a pair of Levi’s jeans, a pair of his own if he’s not wrong. Pulling the jeans on he looks at the picture and realizes he will have to take of his boxer briefs too. Not putting much thought in it he strips out of the jeans and briefs before pulling the jeans back on without closing them. It’s a picture from his very first Levi’s campaign. Him splayed on a bed devoid of any clothing except the pair of jeans, a very typical Levi’s photo.
“So I guess you know what to do.” JongIn says. His voice unsteady in the dingy room and of course ChanYeol does. He’s not a supermodel for just any reason. He lies on the bed and arches his hips a bit in a way he knows makes his hipbones look delicious and as his eyes hood and practically fucks the camera JongIn start to click away, camera handheld. Fluidly he moves around ChanYeol as the flashes from his camera lights up the room.
ByungHun is lounging on his couch when ChanYeol wakes up. It’s not that ChanYeol isn’t happy to see his friend after so long, so the screech of horror is more because how the hell did he get in? “I know your code.” The younger smirks as he continues to lounge on the couch without further explanation on why he is here. ChanYeol hasn’t seen him for months, he’s been following his favorite he’s more than my favorite, he’s the epitome of perfection idol around the world, somehow having landed himself a job as an assistant. “Back from the tour already?” ChanYeol ventures out into the open kitchen space and starts brewing coffee. He’s not nearly awake enough for this. “Make me a cup too hyung.” ByungHun pads in after him. “Last concert was yesterday I have a week off before we start on preparing for the big comeback and since JongHyun kicked me out I was planning on crashing here until he lets me in again.” Leaning against the counter ChanYeol watches as ByungHun raids his fridge. “I don’t mind the couch it’s so big I could lay there with another me.” He continues.
“Why do I surround myself with tiny people?” ChanYeol wonders out loud, snapping up straight ByungHun socks him in the stomach, hard. “So you feel better about the rest of your stupid. Height is your only attractive trait.” Eyeing the purple headed, (wasn’t he red headed last week when he sent him a drunken snapchat?) ChanYeol grabs him in a headlock and starts to give him a noogie. They play wrestle, ending up on the ground where they keep throwing halfhearted punches at each other.
“I don’t hope we’re interrupting something.” Comes a dry comment from above and ChanYeol looks up at KyungSoo’s unimpressed face. “Look another tiny human.” Big wide eyes squint before looking to ByungHun. “Please hit him for me too, thank you.” With a well-aimed punch to his solar plexus they break from each other and only then does ChanYeol notice JongIn standing rigidly behind KyungSoo. “Oh. Hi JongIn. I thought we were meeting up later?” Relatively embarrassed at having being caught brawling about as if he isn’t in his late twenties but in his teens ChanYeol quickly gets to his feet and throws out a hand to help ByungHun up too. “The poor boy called me this morning to wail about one thing or another, unfortunately for him I was sleeping and he woke me up, so as a punishment I made him come with me here.” KyungSoo calls over his shoulder as he settles down on the couch with ChanYeol’s cup of coffee in his hands.
“When did hanging out with me turn into a punishment?” That’s offending. ChanYeol is a great person and KyungSoo should be grateful that ChanYeol’s in his life. “I knew ByungHun would be here and that’s a punishment combination.” Opening his mouth to ask how he knew ByungHun would be here, “How do you think he got the code to your door?” oh.
As usual ByungHun is quiet around strangers and JongIn is too (except he never was around ChanYeol?) and right now it’s just so utterly awkward ChanYeol doesn’t know what to do with himself. JongIn is eyeing ByungHun suspiciously and ByungHun is glaring back, a bit helpless ChanYeol shoots KyungSoo a pleading and confused look. “How come JongHyun threw you out? Is it the usual?” KyungSoo directs at ByungHun who finally snaps away from staring down JongIn. “Yeah. I came home from the tour and he was all you only care about your stupid JiYong hyung and never thinks about me yadda yadda. Pretty sure he’ll let me back in after a week. He didn’t even let me kiss him.” and just like that the tension fell.
“That new photographer guy totally digs you.” Is the first thing that greets him as he steps in after having had JongIn slave drive him through three photo-shoots. “What.” ByungHun stares at him as if he’s the dumbest person on the earth. “Photographer. Wants. To. Bone. You.”
What.
“What.” Clearly giving up on ChanYeol’s intelligence ByungHun throws his arms in the air. “That JongIn fellow wants to suck your dick, fuck your ass, and kiss you senseless. He fucking digs you.” ByungHun must have lost his mind so ChanYeol ignores him and goes straight over to his bed and face-plants, promptly falling asleep.
They’re nearing the end of their recreating of ChanYeol’s model career, only two days left before ChanYeol has to go back to stressful schedules where he’ll have to face mean exes. He’s going to miss hanging out with JongIn every day, seeing his face light up whenever ChanYeol falls over his own limbs or his voice softly directing him. Today they’re in a penthouse all too familiar to ChanYeol and as he looks down on the picture in his hand, he can feel his heart ache.
The apartment is so different from the last time he was here, yet it’s the same and that’s what hurts the most. It’s the small differences, another color theme of the pillows on the couch. There’s not the clutter there used to be, it’s all so tidy and neat. ChanYeol knew this apartment like the back of his hand, now he only knows the basic of what he has seen.
Today they’re recreating a photo session ChanYeol remembers all too clearly. He’s actually naked in this one, rare for a fashion model, but this is isn’t from a fashion shoot. It had been for a photo collection and it had been that series that established ChanYeol as one of the best models Korea has ever seen. There had been so many emotions displayed on his face and he’s not sure if he can recreate them again. This time there’s no infuriating beautiful Luhan behind the camera coaxing him through the shoot with sugarcoated words of praise. ChanYeol had been so young and naive back then. Now that he thinks about it, it’s after Luhan that all his relationships have gone awry.
“Are you ready? Just say if you need a break okay?” Either JongIn can read his face too easily or he knows about this shoot and how much it means to ChanYeol. “I wanted to avoid it but it’s impossible.” JongIn says after a while and he sounds so sorry and guilty it makes ChanYeol’s eyes tear up a bit. His throat is constricting, so he chokes out his words, “It’s alright. It’s been seven years already, I shouldn’t be hung up on it anymore.” Silently JongIn nods and patiently waits for ChanYeol to swallow his tears. “Okay, I think I’m ready.” He mutters at last and sheds himself of the long white bathrobe he’s been dressed in for the longest time.
Luhan’s penthouse apartment is empty save for them and ChanYeol feels vulnerable under JongIn’s unwavering gaze on his naked body. He lies down on the faux fur laid out on the floor in front of a pseudo fireplace. There are four rooms and he knows they’ll have to take pictures in all four, a living room, a bedroom, a kitchen and a bathroom. ChanYeol tries not to think too hard of all the memories he has in these rooms. Tries not to think about Luhan’s smile as he kissed him slowly and savoring on the faux bearskin he’s on right now. “I don’t know how Luhan hyung got all those emotions out from you the last time, but today we do it my way and I want you to lower any parades you have up. Think about him if that’s what you want, think of anything you want. In this I don’t want a replica. I want the feel of the shoot, of the vulnerability you displayed during that shoot. I want you like you are raw and imperfect.” JongIn’s quiet voice rings in the silent space and ChanYeol starts a bit at the underlying harsh tone of annoyance but he stops trying not to remember and lets it all flood his thoughts, completely forgetting JongIn is even there. He lets his body run on autopilot as his heart hurts more and more, because they had been so perfect. There hadn’t been any problems at all. It was almost day to day that it happened and then ChanYeol had left his heart in the space he is in now.
Suddenly there’s a warm hand cupping his cheek and ChanYeol blinks away the tears that he hadn’t been aware were falling. JongIn’s face with contrasting soft and hard lines comes in sight after the blurriness subsides. The younger’s eyes are locked on his lips, expressing so much longing and want that ChanYeol almost wants to give in to it. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers before closing the distance and presses a desperate kiss to ChanYeol’s lips. “I’m so, so sorry.” He keeps whispering as he buries his head in ChanYeol’s neck and ChanYeol wants to ask what for? “I’m so sorry for putting you through this. I’m so sorry for having put you through this.” and just as ChanYeol is about to ask what he’s talking about, JongIn presses a brief kiss to the column of his neck and gets up. “Come, I’ve gotten what I needed from this. Let’s move to the bedroom.”
Not caring about his nakedness ChanYeol gets up and moves to the bedroom. It’s still the same bed just with different covers and a new scent mixed in alongside Luhan’s. Reluctantly he lies down on it, willing himself not to press his nose into what he knows is Luhan’s pillow, but he does unconsciously so and a sob works his way through his lips. Soon his whole body is shaking as tears spill out from his eyes and he’s choking up on sobs. JongIn lets him and just continue to snap picture after picture of how broken ChanYeol really is. First when the shaking has stopped and the sobs no longer choke him up does JongIn speak again. “You know, it’s all a facade.” ChanYeol stills at the sound of another voice and feels embarrassed at having shown a side to JongIn he has never shown to anyone else. “The asshole personality Luhan has around you is nothing but a fraud. There are not many that care so much about you as he does.”
Whipping around in absolute anger, “and the fuck is that supposed to mean? That he treated me like shit and as if I had only been a fucktoy for the last seven years but he didn’t mean it? Bullshit.” ChanYeol shouts. JongIn continues to press the shutter as emotions flutters across ChanYeol’s features. “Yes. He’s been calling been every day to check and see if you were doing okay. That’s why he let me use his apartment. That’s why he’s been periodically checking up on you for the last seven years through KyungSoo hyung.” It doesn’t make sense, why would Luhan do that? Why would he have broken up with ChanYeol then? He just didn’t understand it. Curling in on himself, pulling his legs tight to his chest and hiding his face in his knees, ChanYeol draws a shaky breath. “Why?” It barely audible and he’s a bit surprised that JongIn caught it.
“Because he loved you, still does really. For the first year all he did was using MinSeok hyung as an emotional support only after then did it evolve into feelings of love.” For a short while only their breathing is heard before JongIn continues. “But he gave you up because of me, because I was selfish.” He doesn’t elaborate, ChanYeol doesn’t really want him to. “Are we done? Can I go now?” ChanYeol knows they’re not anywhere near done but right now he doesn’t care. There’s a current of anger in him right now and he really doesn’t wish to punch JongIn the face but if what he got from that confession is right, he will if he doesn’t get away from the other quickly. As soon as he hears the softer than normal yes, he’s pulling on clothes and striding out the door only leaving a resonating slam of it behind.
part two
written for eexiee at sncj_santa
The first part of the shoot went surprisingly smoothly, ChanYeol thinks idly. BaekHyun hadn’t once made him do ridiculously hard poses or demanded that he had to put more feeling; you know the thing you don’t possess, in his expressions. The small feisty photographer had been rather docile, letting ChanYeol work the Levi’s jeans like the supermodel he is without any jabs to bring down his ego. Despite his wonder of why it is BaekHyun has such a grudge against him, it was after all the other that broke up with ChanYeol. He always found it amusing with all the sharp words. Especially the defeated look of annoyance on BaekHyun’s mousy face every time ChanYeol pulled off the ridiculous poses BaekHyun insists on him doing, which would say every time because ChanYeol is amazing and there’s nothing he can’t do.
The reason why shows up soon enough in the form of a tall guy with tousled dark brown hair, sleepy eyes, lips made for kissing and sun kissed skin. ChanYeol didn’t know he had a new co-model today, he would’ve prepared for it. As much as he could, because you know, he’s amazing. He’s ready with a wide smile to greet his new prop when the other takes place behind BaekHyun’s precious, don’t you fucking dare even think about touching it, camera. ChanYeol’s mouth falls open in a gasp of disbelief. No one is allowed to touch that camera so why is the new model guy touching it? He’s about to open his mouth in protest when BaekHyun glares at him and claps to get all the models’ attention.
“This here is JongIn. He’ll be helping me with taking some of the shots. ChanYeol you’re up first. I want passion for once and not those dead eyes you always try to give me.” It’s a grumble and nothing near as vile as usual. ChanYeol doesn’t let it throw him off, instead he drapes himself over the concrete block provided, hooding his eyes as he stares directly into the lens and then the flashes start and he runs per automatic. Poses provocatively and seductive, he almost forgets who it is behind the camera until an unfamiliar voice asks him to place himself front faced against the wall and look over his shoulder. It makes ChanYeol pause a bit, because that’s usually a pose for females and ChanYeol is nothing like a female as his very much exposed and flat chest should indicate, but then there’s that voice again and ChanYeol can’t figure out if he likes it or not as it repeats the request. The words formed slowly as if it’ll help him understand it better and out of the corner of his eye ChanYeol can see BaekHyun laugh at him. He is nothing if not a professional and follows the direction, sultrily staring down the camera. It’s not unexpected when the new photographer grasps the camera and goes up close. What is unexpected is when he lays on the ground and clicks away. ChanYeol is starting to feel slightly like a porn model.
Silently the flashes of white stops and then one of BaekHyun’s countless assistants are ushering him off the set. ChanYeol’s not sure what to do when he’s almost pushed into tanned arms and a lean chest. He certainly doesn’t count on being blinded by a flash of teeth before being straightened and left alone in the changing room.
Amazingly enough, ChanYeol thinks when he opens the newest Vogue Korea, the pictures turned out great. Even with the weird angle it only serves to make ChanYeol’s already long legs look longer and the jeans that hangs low on his hips hugs his ass just right. ChanYeol hadn’t even noticed the details of the back pockets and those had been captured perfectly.
“You know when I first saw the ad I thought it was a girl, but then again you do scream like one when given it hard.” JongDae is poised like a smug cat beside him. “Shut it tiny human, like you could fuck me. You can’t even reach.” Lips curling even more, ChanYeol’s not sure how it’s possible to look so much like a cat, “Oh you want to try that theory? You always were a good fuck.” Blowing a raspberry at the tiny photographer, ChanYeol shuts the magazine and gets into the dressing room and lets them pull and push at him until he’s ready. Today it’s JongDae’s snarky remarks and flirty suggestions he’ll have to go through. How did he end up having dated half of the photographers in the business?
To say that ChanYeol is surprised when he shows up for his Vans shoot and it’s JongIn alone behind the camera is an understatement. Usually SeHun, unfortunately another one of his exes, is the one that takes the few shots for a rare Korean campaign. A young guy that despite his permanent bored face during shoots takes some of the best action photographs ChanYeol has ever been in. He’s also one of the needier and clingier boyfriends he’s ever had, and he never really got over ChanYeol calling him an obsessive clingy twink. So the surprise is rather welcome actually. He hasn’t fucked JongIn and JongIn can’t possibly have any grudge against him… yet.
“SeHun-sshi is doing another shoot today so I’ll be taking care of you.” The previously slightly mocking voice is traded with a polite tone and ChanYeol’s eye twitches. “Please take care of me.” He barely keeps himself from using a biting tone to answer. There’s a lilt to his plush lips that irks ChanYeol uncontrollably. “Or maybe I should just take care of myself. I’ve heard you’re quite the photographer seducer.” There’s a bark of laughter and then a stylist comes pulling him away before he can retort.
More like photographers like to seduce him, ChanYeol thinks bitterly.
Working with JongIn is a lot easier than it normally is with a newbie. He’s not hesitant when telling ChanYeol what he wants from him and it’s nice for once without a biting remark at the end or cautious eyes. ChanYeol is one of the biggest in the industry and a lot of the newbies fears his status. JongIn doesn’t, ChanYeol really likes that.
“Just like that, good. Now jump for me.” JongIn calls out and ChanYeol follows poising his limbs gracefully even in the air. JongIn is once again beneath him and ChanYeol stares at the camera with a wide smile. He has a hard time looking away as a tongue sweeps across a fat lower lip underneath the lens. “That’s perfect, now kick out for me. Backwards please.” It’s almost like playing around with some friends and ChanYeol smiles and laughs genuinely on the pictures instead of his usual practiced grin that makes girls and boys alike swoon. “That’s a wrap, thanks for your hard work.” With a mimic of JongIn, ChanYeol bows back.
“Hey, can’t you take over for SeHun permanently?” JongIn is hunched in front of a small screen looking through the different pictures with a small frown on his face. “Unfortunately not. Despite SeHun-sshi being seemingly utterly grateful for not having to look at your quote douchebaggy asshole quote end face.” ChanYeol makes a frown for himself at the words, “Did he really say that? He used to love my face.” Amused JongIn chuckles with eyes focused still on the screen. “I can see why. It’s pretty.” ChanYeol doesn’t flush, he’s a supermodel. He’s completely used to compliments like this. Except JongIn actually seems to mean it and ChanYeol can feel the heat in his cheeks so he abruptly turns around and stalks away from the outdoor set.
Only to return seconds later because, really he has no idea where and how to get away from this godforsaken skate park. His manager is still nowhere in sight and ChanYeol could really use KyungSoo right now. “You waiting for someone?” Too close, too sudden, ChanYeol jumps a meter in the air. “Yeah, no. Don’t do that ever again, thank you.” JongIn is looking so self-satisfied with the reaction and ChanYeol almost thinks about how cute that look is. Almost. “Have you seen my manager? Reaches around my waist, bulging eyes and big lips?” Just as he finishes he can feel a hit landing on his lower back. “Shut it doofus and get in the car. We have a sudden schedule. See you around JongIn-ah.” JongIn waves with an easy smile and ChanYeol is confused.
“What is it? Stop staring unless you want me to drive us off road and into a ditch.” Finally blinking with his eyes stinging from the dryness, ChanYeol turns his head away from his manager. “How do you know him?”
“Who?” The grin KyungSoo is most likely sporting is not hidden by his voice and ChanYeol scoffs. “You know who.” KyungSoo merely shrugs before looking in the rearview mirror, “I know him through Luhan.” Fuck, everybody but Luhan. Worst ex ever. “Why of all people does it have to be Luhan?” ChanYeol groans into his hands, KyungSoo pats his head not all that sympathetically. “I warned you didn’t I?” There’s not even a way of retorting, KyungSoo did warn him.
Luhan looks like an angel. Honey blonde hair creating a halo around his innocently designed face, wide childish eyes, pointy nose and soft colored lips. His personality was just as sweet as he looked, only a little bit on the crude side. For the year they dated ChanYeol believed he had found his true love, then Luhan decided that his new lightning assistant was much more interesting and ChanYeol was left with an aching heart. Out of all the break ups that somehow always ends up with him being on the I’m breaking up with you end, the one with Luhan hurt the most. So of course life, as always when it comes to his love life, decided to be a bitch and let the new beautiful photographer be friends with Luhan.
ChanYeol really feels like screaming. Luckily KyungSoo is used to it and hits him on the throat three seconds in. Silence is once again restored in the car.
The sudden schedule is started by ChanYeol walking in on Luhan trying to stick his hand down MinSeok’s pants and screaming at the sight. At least it gains him the attention of the photographer. “Hey old fucktoy, how’s it hanging?” Luhan asks with a wriggle of his eyebrows. Luhan may look like an angel but he is the spawn of Satan and ChanYeol wishes for someday to strangle his long pretty neck. “Hi MinSeok hyung.” He says and walks straight past Luhan without a second glance. Behind him he can hear MinSeok reprimanding Luhan with a few slaps followed by Luhan’s whiny sickly sweet Minnie-boo.
“So what are we doing?” ChanYeol asks impatiently, turning around just in time to see MinSeok sliding out of Luhan’s arms and the blonde looking sadly after him. “Don’t worry loverboy, it’s going to be a quickie.” Eye-rolling at the innuendo ChanYeol stares Luhan down unimpressed. “Fine if you’re going to be so boring. TaeMin bailed at last minute and you’re the only other male model with a face pretty enough to pass this concept off.” It’s a lie and Luhan knows that it’s obvious. “No really what am I doing here?”
“After your last spread with Levi’s, you’re back in high demand because of the sudden vulnerability you displayed or whatever. Anyway TaeMin bailed, you’re popular, fits the concept well enough. Now go in and get ready so we can get on with it.” Luhan waves him off annoyed and then ChanYeol is swept away by a stylist as he so often is.
So ChanYeol’s not by any means a troublesome person. He goes along with all the concepts thrown at him with a smile (sometimes accompanied by KyungSoo’s fingers pinching him in the side) but, “What the fuck man? Why am I in a fucking wedding dress?” Extensions are added to his maroon hair and his makeup is done femininely and goddamn he does not want to know how Yura is going to look on her wedding day, but apparently now he does. “Don’t worry hun, you look amazing.” ChanYeol really wishes looks could kill because Luhan is not making this any better at all. “Thank you and may I ask who my supposed husband might be? And why the fuck am I in a fucking wedding dress Luhan?” Something akin to sheepishness crawls across Luhan’s features before they’re settled back into haughty. “The androgynous look is in and this eccentric bridal shop wanted to use that and your husband. Well you’ll see. She’ll be here shortly.” Something in the tone makes ChanYeol’s stomach clench uncomfortably.
Suddenly the studio falls silent and slow deliberate footsteps are heard. ChanYeol clenches his eyes shut, there’s only one he knows that gets that reaction every time he walks into a studio and he really wants to strangle Luhan now if it’s who he think it is. “Luhan I will kill you if you don’t let me beat up his kid.” Wide eyed ChanYeol turns around and almost chokes on the air. Wu ‘Kris’ Yifan, ChanYeol’s only ex to ever have been taller than him is dressed in a pale pink long-sleeved sheath dress. A long wavy wig secured on his head and his makeup soft. If not for the muscle build, ChanYeol thinks, he could’ve easily passed off as a girl too. “Kris release Zitao. He’s done nothing wrong just doing his job. Which I must say is done quite well. You look like a bridesmaid the bride should be worried about stealing her man.” Luhan shoots ChanYeol a meaningful look, “or maybe it’s the other way around?” ChanYeol flips him the finger and waits (im)patiently, tapping his foot annoyed and he forgets that he’s wearing heels that clinks obnoxiously against the floor. Soon enough SooYoung comes out dressed as the bridegroom, smiling widely at him. “I have such a pretty bride.” SooYoung is tolerable at least and she’ll joke so much with the height differences and the stairs and boxes she has to stand on, maybe he’ll forget that he’s in a room with two of his exes.
After a lot of teeth clenching, sharp remarks and forced happiness towards his supposed bridesmaid and photographer, ChanYeol storms out of the studio. Barely letting himself have enough time to change out of the god awful last dress. KyungSoo does look sincerely apologetic and he’s ready with ChanYeol's favorite hot Choco-latte when the model slips into the car.
“I really had no idea. I knew Luhan was going to be there but not Kris too.” Right now ChanYeol kind of fucking hates how he can’t get mad at his manager. “It’s fine.” KyungSoo lets him sulk for the rest of the ride to his apartment complex. Luckily tomorrow is a day off, and then he can stay in bed and moan about his sad life to his ceiling.
“KyungSoo I love you and all but why are you at my apartment at eight am on my day off?” It should be obvious that he didn’t sleep much and judging by KyungSoo’s eyes bulging more than usual, it is. “Yeol you look awful. Why didn’t you sleep?”
“Yeah, well guess who just woke me up after I had just fallen asleep?” KyungSoo mutters a small sorry before going in to the kitchen to fix some light breakfast and a cup of coffee for ChanYeol. Something he’s not going to like is up. KyungSoo only ever mothers him when he’s feeling sorry about something. “My day off is cancelled isn’t it?” He groans, smacking his head down on the white surface of his kitchen table. “Yeah, sorry. It’s a light schedule though. Not more than a very private and small meeting with JongIn. He called me yesterday.” With lazy eyes ChanYeol watches KyungSoo flit around his large kitchen, expertly finding and creating wonderful things he’s sure. “Yeah? What did he want?” Sending ChanYeol a smile over his shoulder KyungSoo starts chopping some vegetables ChanYeol can’t find the energy to identify. “He likes you, you know?”
Such a compliment, everybody likes ChanYeol. Well, everyone but his exes. “Wow, I’m honored the newbie photographer likes me. I can’t stop my joy from overflowing.” Clucking his tongue disapprovingly at ChanYeol's sarcasm, KyungSoo continues. “JongIn isn’t a newbie. He’s been one of the best travel and wildlife photographers for quite some time now. For some reason he wanted to venture into fashion suddenly.” Oh, ChanYeol didn’t know that. Huh, interesting. “Anyway he called me yesterday, asking me if I could clear your schedule for a month.” He places a plate of stir fried vegetables and a sunnyside up egg in front of ChanYeol before seating himself across the tall model. “What for?” ChanYeol asks around a mouthful of delicious food. “Don’t talk with your mouth full it’s disgusting. He’s gotten an exclusive deal with High Cut that wants to release a special edition magazine with the top models at the moment. Luckily enough you’re still one of them. A ton of photographers had been invited to the briefing and originally JongIn was just tagging along to see how these kinds of briefings goes but then he saw you on the board as one of the models. Of course I’ve already talked to them about it months ago so really it’s cool.” ChanYeol’s already finished with his breakfast and is now cradling his cup of coffee. “Back on track. JongIn saw you and seeing as it would be one photographer assigned per model and almost only your exes were present and they want nothing to do with you. So he offered to take you and he got it. He didn’t go into much detail about what it is he wants to do with you for a month alone, but he’s coming over in-” KyungSoo glances at his watch. “- twenty-five minutes to enlighten us. So get dressed and brush your teeth. I’ll take care of the kitchen.”
JongIn shows up, sleep still in his eyes and hair tousled. He’s in a simple black shirt and jeans. ChanYeol is still not really over the fact that this man is not a model when he clearly has the looks for it. KyungSoo has made small snack sandwiches for them and it’s the first thing JongIn reaches for when he places himself at the end of the table, chewing it down quickly. With a grateful smile he accepts the cup of coffee KyungSoo has brewed him and chucks it down in the same lazily hurried way as the sandwich. “Thank you hyung.” Finally his eyes open and he starts looking around ChanYeol’s large studio apartment. The bathroom is the only enclosed area with tinted glass walls, the rest of the wide space is split into small corners by book shelves and artsy decoration objects. “You live cozily. I hadn’t thought it would be like this, but I guess earth colors suits you well.” It’s brings a wry smile on his face because it’s his ex, Yixing, that had decorated it. The mild mannered interior designer is one of the few exes that ChanYeol can still talk to and he actually enjoys his company a whole lot. They meet up once in a while and just sits on the long leather couch and talks with a cup of tea in their hands. It’s a nice friendship. A rare one.
Apparently JongIn isn’t one for chit chat and goes straight to business. “So the reason why I am asking for a month alone with ChanYeol is simple. Most of the other photographers is going to be following their model around for a month and then ask them a few questions. It’s a fine idea but boring, nothing new really.” He’s pulling out a worn out deep blue notebook, pages half ripped out and stuffed in again, loose papers stuck almost carelessly in between pages full of hurried scribbles. “I was thinking how about we recreate all the biggest and most important shoots you’ve had in your career? Of course with a twist or two since otherwise there would be no need for me. I spent all night researching your career. So I’m thinking we’re starting with your very first ever photo-shoot.” JongIn’s rambling slightly and fumbling around with all his papers and notes, ChanYeol really doesn’t care how they do it. He’s fine with whatever. JongIn should really stop looking at him and start talking to KyungSoo because in the end it’s only him that can give the okay. It’s cute how excited JongIn seems to be over this. He’s talking with his hands and explaining everything in detail pointing at sketches that looks professional and ChanYeol can easily see which of his photographs they are drawn after.
“I’m impressed JongIn.” KyungSoo says after a little break of silence. “You’ve really done your work, not that I expected anything else, but it’s really well done. I’ll see what I can do okay? I might not be able to get a whole month free for you but I can get most of a month free.” JongIn beams and ChanYeol feels his heart stop for a moment. “ChanYeol-sshi? Or can I call you hyung?” Absentmindedly ChanYeol nods. He can’t tear his eyes away from the soft curve of JongIn’s eyes when he smiles. “Hyung, can I take a few photos of you here? Now? Like this?” ChanYeol looks down at himself, his faded Spider Man pajama bottoms and a loose black t-shirt. He hadn’t gotten dressed like KyungSoo had asked him to. “Sure why not?”
KyungSoo manages to get them first half of December for themselves, only a fitting or two for some year-end fashion shows in between and ChanYeol troops up on the first of December in front of the Han River at seven am sharp. JongIn is nowhere in sight and ChanYeol sighs watching his breath turning to fog. There’s a light snow falling already and ChanYeol hopes that the couples on the twenty-fourth will be walking along the streets in a light shower of snowflakes too. Fifteen minutes later JongIn shows up, hair disheveled and pressed down by a sloppily put on beanie. His big puffy winter coat is almost consuming him despite his tall height. His cheeks and nose is colored red from the cold wind and weather but his smile when he spots ChanYeol is bright enough to shine through the still dark sky. “Hyung! You’re here. Sorry, I was stuck in the subway.” He starts running, equipment on his back and ChanYeol can’t help but roll his eyes. JongIn clearly will never be a fashion photographer. “I’m picking you up tomorrow instead okay?” Normally he would have accompanied it with a hair ruffle but a beanie is in the way today.
“So what is it you have planned today? Shouldn’t you at least have a lightning assistant or something?” JongIn merely shakes his head and pulls ChanYeol along over to some toilets, pressing a bag into his hands. “Put this on and then come out again.” Incredulously ChanYeol stares at the plastic bag now in his hands and then up at JongIn. “No makeup or hair styling?” Bottom lip between his teeth JongIn shakes his head and ushers ChanYeol inside. Well that’s interesting.
Carefully, as if something will jump out, ChanYeol opens the bag and inside is something he really didn’t expect. At first he can’t really recall why it seems so familiar. It’s a pair of denim overalls, a red snap back and a simple white t-shirt. Then he fishes out the picture at the bottom of the bag. It’s him clad in the same kind of outfit at the age of five. It’s the only photo-shoot he ever did as a child and he thought no one knew of it, but JongIn did apparently. Quickly dressing himself in the same way as on the picture he can see the differences in the clothing. His overalls now are more figure sown and not quite so simple, pockets big and loose. Like in the picture he has one of the straps down and the other up so the white t-shirt is shown more. A small smile appears on his face as he looks at the picture and tries to imitate his five year old self. “Hey are you done soon?” JongIn calls out and snaps ChanYeol back into the present. Opening the door with a soft smile he looks down at JongIn. “Really? You found out about this, how?” Waving him off JongIn motions for him to follow him further down the river park. They stop in front of a small playground and before he can stop himself ChanYeol laughs.
“We’re really recreating this picture?” Eagerly JongIn nods and starts to set up his camera. “Of course, it’s the most important picture really. The very first photo-shoot supermodel Park ChanYeol ever did and it’s forgotten? Outrageous.” The exaggerated disbelief in his voice has ChanYeol laughing once more. The sun is finally rising and the playground is soon enough splayed in the red colors. “Now hyung. Over to the swings and pose in the same way.” Quickly ridding himself of his long winter coat ChanYeol stands in front of the swings and puts his hands in the pockets of the overalls and makes his widest smile while leaning a bit forward. It’s refreshing the way his light brown fringe falls into his eyes and his face is bare. He continues to try to recreate the love and the excitement for life he had as a child, smile widening more naturally and eyes softening as he starts to feel a happiness bubble inside him.
“Perfect. Put on your coat we’re done here.” JongIn says as he packs down his equipment.
They get breakfast at a small café pushed into the corner of a tiny alley and ChanYeol goes out to the toilet to change into his casual black outfit once again. When he comes back out again JongIn is sitting at one of the plush seats with a cup of warm beverage between his fingers, nose almost dipping into the foam at the top. His beanie has been pulled off and the hair hasn’t been straightened from the disarray. It looks as soft as it is. In moments like this ChanYeol wishes he was the photographer to capture the soft aura of happiness that JongIn radiates. Taking a deep breath and stealing one lingering glance at JongIn’s side profile ChanYeol goes forward and dumps himself into the plush chair across JongIn. A large cup of Latte is waiting for him alongside a small blueberry muffin on the table between them. Without a word ChanYeol relaxes into the chair and lets silence envelop them comfortably.
ChanYeol drives them to the next location, a rundown tall hotel in the outskirts of Seoul. JongIn leads him up the many stairs and unlocks a door located in the other end of a long corridor full of exact replicas of the door only the number above them being different. Beige colors turned yellowish and the paint is peeling off and cracking. The feeling is slightly like the beginning of a horror movie and ChanYeol feels a shiver run down his back bone just as the door creaks open. The insides of the room are not much better at all, but the sheets on the bed at least seem clean and there are no suspicious red spots on the carpet. JongIn thrusts another similar black bag into ChanYeol’s hands and points him towards the bathroom. Ignoring the pointing finger ChanYeol starts to strip down there in the middle of the room. He doesn’t notice how JongIn gulps and averts his gaze pointedly.
In the bag this time there’s nothing more than a pair of Levi’s jeans, a pair of his own if he’s not wrong. Pulling the jeans on he looks at the picture and realizes he will have to take of his boxer briefs too. Not putting much thought in it he strips out of the jeans and briefs before pulling the jeans back on without closing them. It’s a picture from his very first Levi’s campaign. Him splayed on a bed devoid of any clothing except the pair of jeans, a very typical Levi’s photo.
“So I guess you know what to do.” JongIn says. His voice unsteady in the dingy room and of course ChanYeol does. He’s not a supermodel for just any reason. He lies on the bed and arches his hips a bit in a way he knows makes his hipbones look delicious and as his eyes hood and practically fucks the camera JongIn start to click away, camera handheld. Fluidly he moves around ChanYeol as the flashes from his camera lights up the room.
ByungHun is lounging on his couch when ChanYeol wakes up. It’s not that ChanYeol isn’t happy to see his friend after so long, so the screech of horror is more because how the hell did he get in? “I know your code.” The younger smirks as he continues to lounge on the couch without further explanation on why he is here. ChanYeol hasn’t seen him for months, he’s been following his favorite he’s more than my favorite, he’s the epitome of perfection idol around the world, somehow having landed himself a job as an assistant. “Back from the tour already?” ChanYeol ventures out into the open kitchen space and starts brewing coffee. He’s not nearly awake enough for this. “Make me a cup too hyung.” ByungHun pads in after him. “Last concert was yesterday I have a week off before we start on preparing for the big comeback and since JongHyun kicked me out I was planning on crashing here until he lets me in again.” Leaning against the counter ChanYeol watches as ByungHun raids his fridge. “I don’t mind the couch it’s so big I could lay there with another me.” He continues.
“Why do I surround myself with tiny people?” ChanYeol wonders out loud, snapping up straight ByungHun socks him in the stomach, hard. “So you feel better about the rest of your stupid. Height is your only attractive trait.” Eyeing the purple headed, (wasn’t he red headed last week when he sent him a drunken snapchat?) ChanYeol grabs him in a headlock and starts to give him a noogie. They play wrestle, ending up on the ground where they keep throwing halfhearted punches at each other.
“I don’t hope we’re interrupting something.” Comes a dry comment from above and ChanYeol looks up at KyungSoo’s unimpressed face. “Look another tiny human.” Big wide eyes squint before looking to ByungHun. “Please hit him for me too, thank you.” With a well-aimed punch to his solar plexus they break from each other and only then does ChanYeol notice JongIn standing rigidly behind KyungSoo. “Oh. Hi JongIn. I thought we were meeting up later?” Relatively embarrassed at having being caught brawling about as if he isn’t in his late twenties but in his teens ChanYeol quickly gets to his feet and throws out a hand to help ByungHun up too. “The poor boy called me this morning to wail about one thing or another, unfortunately for him I was sleeping and he woke me up, so as a punishment I made him come with me here.” KyungSoo calls over his shoulder as he settles down on the couch with ChanYeol’s cup of coffee in his hands.
“When did hanging out with me turn into a punishment?” That’s offending. ChanYeol is a great person and KyungSoo should be grateful that ChanYeol’s in his life. “I knew ByungHun would be here and that’s a punishment combination.” Opening his mouth to ask how he knew ByungHun would be here, “How do you think he got the code to your door?” oh.
As usual ByungHun is quiet around strangers and JongIn is too (except he never was around ChanYeol?) and right now it’s just so utterly awkward ChanYeol doesn’t know what to do with himself. JongIn is eyeing ByungHun suspiciously and ByungHun is glaring back, a bit helpless ChanYeol shoots KyungSoo a pleading and confused look. “How come JongHyun threw you out? Is it the usual?” KyungSoo directs at ByungHun who finally snaps away from staring down JongIn. “Yeah. I came home from the tour and he was all you only care about your stupid JiYong hyung and never thinks about me yadda yadda. Pretty sure he’ll let me back in after a week. He didn’t even let me kiss him.” and just like that the tension fell.
“That new photographer guy totally digs you.” Is the first thing that greets him as he steps in after having had JongIn slave drive him through three photo-shoots. “What.” ByungHun stares at him as if he’s the dumbest person on the earth. “Photographer. Wants. To. Bone. You.”
What.
“What.” Clearly giving up on ChanYeol’s intelligence ByungHun throws his arms in the air. “That JongIn fellow wants to suck your dick, fuck your ass, and kiss you senseless. He fucking digs you.” ByungHun must have lost his mind so ChanYeol ignores him and goes straight over to his bed and face-plants, promptly falling asleep.
They’re nearing the end of their recreating of ChanYeol’s model career, only two days left before ChanYeol has to go back to stressful schedules where he’ll have to face mean exes. He’s going to miss hanging out with JongIn every day, seeing his face light up whenever ChanYeol falls over his own limbs or his voice softly directing him. Today they’re in a penthouse all too familiar to ChanYeol and as he looks down on the picture in his hand, he can feel his heart ache.
The apartment is so different from the last time he was here, yet it’s the same and that’s what hurts the most. It’s the small differences, another color theme of the pillows on the couch. There’s not the clutter there used to be, it’s all so tidy and neat. ChanYeol knew this apartment like the back of his hand, now he only knows the basic of what he has seen.
Today they’re recreating a photo session ChanYeol remembers all too clearly. He’s actually naked in this one, rare for a fashion model, but this is isn’t from a fashion shoot. It had been for a photo collection and it had been that series that established ChanYeol as one of the best models Korea has ever seen. There had been so many emotions displayed on his face and he’s not sure if he can recreate them again. This time there’s no infuriating beautiful Luhan behind the camera coaxing him through the shoot with sugarcoated words of praise. ChanYeol had been so young and naive back then. Now that he thinks about it, it’s after Luhan that all his relationships have gone awry.
“Are you ready? Just say if you need a break okay?” Either JongIn can read his face too easily or he knows about this shoot and how much it means to ChanYeol. “I wanted to avoid it but it’s impossible.” JongIn says after a while and he sounds so sorry and guilty it makes ChanYeol’s eyes tear up a bit. His throat is constricting, so he chokes out his words, “It’s alright. It’s been seven years already, I shouldn’t be hung up on it anymore.” Silently JongIn nods and patiently waits for ChanYeol to swallow his tears. “Okay, I think I’m ready.” He mutters at last and sheds himself of the long white bathrobe he’s been dressed in for the longest time.
Luhan’s penthouse apartment is empty save for them and ChanYeol feels vulnerable under JongIn’s unwavering gaze on his naked body. He lies down on the faux fur laid out on the floor in front of a pseudo fireplace. There are four rooms and he knows they’ll have to take pictures in all four, a living room, a bedroom, a kitchen and a bathroom. ChanYeol tries not to think too hard of all the memories he has in these rooms. Tries not to think about Luhan’s smile as he kissed him slowly and savoring on the faux bearskin he’s on right now. “I don’t know how Luhan hyung got all those emotions out from you the last time, but today we do it my way and I want you to lower any parades you have up. Think about him if that’s what you want, think of anything you want. In this I don’t want a replica. I want the feel of the shoot, of the vulnerability you displayed during that shoot. I want you like you are raw and imperfect.” JongIn’s quiet voice rings in the silent space and ChanYeol starts a bit at the underlying harsh tone of annoyance but he stops trying not to remember and lets it all flood his thoughts, completely forgetting JongIn is even there. He lets his body run on autopilot as his heart hurts more and more, because they had been so perfect. There hadn’t been any problems at all. It was almost day to day that it happened and then ChanYeol had left his heart in the space he is in now.
Suddenly there’s a warm hand cupping his cheek and ChanYeol blinks away the tears that he hadn’t been aware were falling. JongIn’s face with contrasting soft and hard lines comes in sight after the blurriness subsides. The younger’s eyes are locked on his lips, expressing so much longing and want that ChanYeol almost wants to give in to it. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers before closing the distance and presses a desperate kiss to ChanYeol’s lips. “I’m so, so sorry.” He keeps whispering as he buries his head in ChanYeol’s neck and ChanYeol wants to ask what for? “I’m so sorry for putting you through this. I’m so sorry for having put you through this.” and just as ChanYeol is about to ask what he’s talking about, JongIn presses a brief kiss to the column of his neck and gets up. “Come, I’ve gotten what I needed from this. Let’s move to the bedroom.”
Not caring about his nakedness ChanYeol gets up and moves to the bedroom. It’s still the same bed just with different covers and a new scent mixed in alongside Luhan’s. Reluctantly he lies down on it, willing himself not to press his nose into what he knows is Luhan’s pillow, but he does unconsciously so and a sob works his way through his lips. Soon his whole body is shaking as tears spill out from his eyes and he’s choking up on sobs. JongIn lets him and just continue to snap picture after picture of how broken ChanYeol really is. First when the shaking has stopped and the sobs no longer choke him up does JongIn speak again. “You know, it’s all a facade.” ChanYeol stills at the sound of another voice and feels embarrassed at having shown a side to JongIn he has never shown to anyone else. “The asshole personality Luhan has around you is nothing but a fraud. There are not many that care so much about you as he does.”
Whipping around in absolute anger, “and the fuck is that supposed to mean? That he treated me like shit and as if I had only been a fucktoy for the last seven years but he didn’t mean it? Bullshit.” ChanYeol shouts. JongIn continues to press the shutter as emotions flutters across ChanYeol’s features. “Yes. He’s been calling been every day to check and see if you were doing okay. That’s why he let me use his apartment. That’s why he’s been periodically checking up on you for the last seven years through KyungSoo hyung.” It doesn’t make sense, why would Luhan do that? Why would he have broken up with ChanYeol then? He just didn’t understand it. Curling in on himself, pulling his legs tight to his chest and hiding his face in his knees, ChanYeol draws a shaky breath. “Why?” It barely audible and he’s a bit surprised that JongIn caught it.
“Because he loved you, still does really. For the first year all he did was using MinSeok hyung as an emotional support only after then did it evolve into feelings of love.” For a short while only their breathing is heard before JongIn continues. “But he gave you up because of me, because I was selfish.” He doesn’t elaborate, ChanYeol doesn’t really want him to. “Are we done? Can I go now?” ChanYeol knows they’re not anywhere near done but right now he doesn’t care. There’s a current of anger in him right now and he really doesn’t wish to punch JongIn the face but if what he got from that confession is right, he will if he doesn’t get away from the other quickly. As soon as he hears the softer than normal yes, he’s pulling on clothes and striding out the door only leaving a resonating slam of it behind.
part two