Lately I have not gone to church. And today Lindsay and I talked (I mostly listened) about churches, Christianity and such. I had an epiphany. It is as easy to rebel against the norm as it is to rebel. Both ways you give into a base instinct of yourself. Your longing to do good (Christianity, Catholicism, good deeds) or a longing to do bad ( ( Read more... )

What the fuck I have no fucking clue what I want out of life. There are no certainties. I am a wreck. I don’t know anything. My thoughts negate my feelings. My mind realizes that the old self may have been wrong. Ignorance is bliss when there is nothing else to look forward to in the ocean one is content in his world. The Truman show. I have ( Read more... )

THIS IS THE WORST I HAVE FELT IN A REALLY LONG TIME. I had to break up with Lauren. I know it hurt her and that hurts most of all. Maybe this was really bad timing but I think it is for the best. Its for the best. Lauren, ... I feel bad. My stomach turned. I had to scream all the tenseness out of my body. I had to beak it off with a person ( Read more... )

Over the past year I have made some revelations about life and society. Something of interest I have realized is how much confidence can affect a person. Confidence is the difference between a soft-spoken and an outgoing person, between a leader and a follower, between people who get exactly what they want and people who are left behind. ( Read more... )

So far this summer has been going amazing. I really can’t complain about anything. Fun times. I am looking forward to the fruition of it as well. Wiffleball, new job, cool people, good money, nights off, the Schmidt family, the Weinburgs, parks and playgrounds, thunderstorms and ice cream, rain…, congregations of people, Brett, Jen tom, jay, ( Read more... )

I am ready to go home. For the first time since coming here I really WANT to go home. I’m tired of a shitty bed. I’m tired of studying. I’m tired of living with someone. I’m tired of the dinning halls. I’m tired of not seeing my high school friends all the time. I’m tired. BUT… I’m looking forward to the summer. Work, friends, free time, ( Read more... )

I have made some amazing friends since high school; some have been temporarily lost and some are new, Dan and Prox. I haven’t really talked at all about the friends that I have made here at Mizzou, but I have wanted to for a while. They are really cool. I can have fun with them. They know when I am joking. They can joke back. They are real. ( Read more... )

Yeah so you know how all you we’re telling me it’s ok and thinking I was just upset with the weather in Columbia. Well fuck that. Listen ( Read more... )

As you can tell I did a major update. But there is good reason for it. As you have probably read I had a really good spring break. And I love my life right now. Don’t get me wrong; I definitely have some crap going on that I’m not really sure I want to post but for the most part I love life ( Read more... )

Last night when I laid in bed this feeling of calm and giddiness and happiness and contentment wrapped into one for no reason whatsoever but for every reason. I feeling of thankfulness I guess you could call it. It was amazing. I thought of all of the blessings in my life: For my family, which I have shown and said before that they are astounding ( Read more... )