*sigh*
another change for the worst. another ugly turn. more bitterness and silences and dampened words and unresolved elephants between me and someone. more friction.
fuck it.

dont let me fall in love with you again
too much has changed. i don't even know you anymore - you're a stranger. but im starting to see you in less ugly light each day and it fucking terrifies me
im starting to care again. oh no.

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i know i never call.

for some pathetic reason a certain day keeps playing over and over in my head and then i scream silently to stop, don't go there, don't upset yourself.
but i want to get it out. so this is the one of the saddest days of my life.it was a monday morning and i arrived to school just after 9am, like usual, the usual lateness. i ran to my roll call but ( Read more... )

so that's is it? i've had my turn. the end. thank you for the memories i'll try to let go of. have a nice life with your sleazy boys and alcohol. i'll still be in bed like a devorced married couple but fuckit, this is the last time i'm going to write about you. you don't care about me anymore? me neither. no dramatics, no more tears or hurt it's ( Read more... )

i have been abused. i have been attacked. over and over, for fourteen years. by the hand and eyes and stinging hateful words of a ugly ugly man. a man who hates me. who may even begin to hate me as much as i dispise him. in the last fourteen years i have grown to know his rythm, his breath, his words and exactly, exactly when he's going to blow, ( Read more... )

someone tried to break into my livejournal

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stop telling me who to be
i did not give you permission to read this. i did not allow you to view me. so this is mostly a friends only journal now so the people i chose read this.
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