i think my family is broken. or maybe we were never a whole in the first place, and my parents were drunk when they took their vows and wake up every morning choking down the sob that they're still here, still have to get up to each other and face the day with each others harsh words in their ears and their minds. maybe they try and convince ( Read more... )

i feel simple
and lulled
and like i'm on some sort of hazy drug
and my hips on fire
and my nose is running
is this how it's meant to be?
nobody told me.
i talk alot of shit
i apologise

i feel like i've hardly breathed or spoken or eaten or moved lately. i can't remember anything, just ab lur of monotony and technicolour and a cold wind and stiffness. i feel odd, something new is inside me but i can't reach it and i don't know what it is. but somethings died to. somethings definately gone. but i don't know what this is too. and ( Read more... )

and i left the table to find paper and words and solitude and oxygen. because i had looked around the table and got a jerk as i actually saw the faces not really looking back at me or paying me any particular attention. and i smothered my suprise to see these ghosts from my memory sitting tiny amounts of space from me with a sulky demeanor, like ( Read more... )

i didnt even like this song when i heard it. now its a fucking drug i'm addicted to. it just does things to me, makes me cry and smile and feel good and terrible and beautiful and useless and wonderful and awed and dead and like im fucking floating.
fuck. just fuck

[this is me]

i've come to the conclusion piano makes me cry, and raw acoustic guitar and a voice. thats all.
you had time and falling is like this and smells like teen spirit won't get themselves out of my system

to save you read this i'll just say i dont know who the fuck i am, what the fuck im doing, where the hell i'm going and what the fuck i am. i dont know if im losing myself or living ( Read more... )

and she held on.
and i could've cried.

this year, for all it's pain has brought me new beauty. i have met so many beautiful people this year, even this week ( Read more... )

i wish i could draw air. no really think about it, think of all the hearts and words that have been shattered in it, all the stories it has heard and places it had seen, all the people and their lungs it must know and how old and knowing it must be. i want to know things about this beautiful substance that keeps us alive but refuses to show itself ( Read more... )