Ah, well here I am. The earth has revolved around the sun once more. Yeah. Try to restrain your enthusiasm, everyone. What is there to say when your life is measured in planetary rotations ( Read more... )

( How to cure procrastination forever. )

Well, you would all be pleased to know that my cunning plan has worked; if you ignore winter for three months, it will go away. (And I'm hoping the same rule applies to certain people.) Also, I’m going to make a broad generalization here and say that you would all be pleased to know that I have updated.

On this lovely Saturday, I have done ( Read more... )

Unless of course he was a serial rapist.. in which case you have been, very literally, screwed out of a vacation.

- Maya

My brain's dead weight, tryin to get my head straight, but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I wanna impregnate:

A Baby
B Ginger
C Posh
D Sporty
E Scary

They should make a horror movie featuring Scary Spice. I would watch it. Really. I would.

- Maya

"You know what poetry is about?" said Eleanor. "The impossibility of sexual love. Poets finally don't even want genitals, their own or anyone else's. A poet wants metaphors, patterns, some ersatz physics of love. For a poet, to love is to have no lover. And to live.."-- she raised her wine glass and failed to suppress a smile--"is to have no liver