I'm always the one to make a brash decision. If I had the 'Mona Lisa' on my palate I would have given her a mole and some crow's feet. My Mickey Mouse would eventually have become Rah Rah the Rhinocerous after some thought, and tinkering. I just don't know when to stop ( Read more... )

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Was it Socrates, or the bottle cap to the Coke I used to mix with my rum that said, "you gotta learn something each new day." Whomever it was, whatever the case, I did learn something today; I learned who REALLY wears the pants in this family. All jokes about how my mother just can't miss an episode of 'The Ellen DeGeneres Show' aside I was ( Read more... )

This is so freakin' cool. Well. Maybe. Kinda. Hey ... at least it's better than being on MySpace for an hour.

Upload a picture of yourself.

Select 'MyHeritage Celebrity database.'

A few minutes later it will come up with a celebrity that closely resembles you.

I got Emma Watson.

Awesomne.

I'm just happy I didn't get Jack White.

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Please, please, PLEASE somebody ... anybody tell me that you too watch "But Can They Sing?" - the show that clenches more camp in it's firm grasp than a Thansgiving dinner hosted by Florence Henderson. I must, I must, I must revel alongside someone in the song and dance number that actress ... model ... celebutante ... uhh Japanese whore Bai Ling ( Read more... )

I no longer fear anything that may come to me in my life for I have spent two fucking hours sitting in line in the advisement office at OCC. Because that was Hell. I damn near tapped an indentation into the ground while waiting, numbly watching the woman who was sitting next to me reach menopause. The real kicker of it all, the thing that made me ( Read more... )

Jubilee cat went to the veternarian's office today. The doctor gave her several shots and since coming back she keeps acting tipsy, and falls over after every couple of feet.

This is better than when grandma gets drunk at Christmas.

Just a month ago I could not take a piss in a dark deserted alley way without there being a copy of the movie Chicago laying about. Somewhere. Anywhere. So of course, when I come to my senses and realize that yes, I must see that puffy coke whore of a woman Renee Zellweger dance and sing I cannot find a copy of it anywhere. Not here. Not there. Not ( Read more... )

This morning, by accident, I went inside Shoppingtown Mall before it had actually opened.

I was engulfed by the dreaded mall-walkers.