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1. Who the frak ate Jason Marquis and replaced him with Warren Spahn? 5-1, 1.70? For real? 2. Did someone tell the Brewers its 1982? I think they're for real. 3. I'm sorry, I thought it was a dream, but no, the Phillies really did send their opening day starter to the bullpen. This is one final gift from fucking Ed Wade (I'm a really big fan!!!), ( Read more... )

Ok people, there was cage dancing at the DUDS Ball. Cage dancing. The alumni, as always, sat in the back during the ceremony and set about drinking all the champagne we could.
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This weekend I watched a riveting Africa Double Feature. First up was the luminous Edward Zwick vehicle Blood Diamond, which is the movie that has finally convinced me of Leonardo DiCaprio's talents. He plays a Rhodesian (now Zimbabwe) diamond smuggler in Sierra Leone, circa 1999, who is after a gargantuan diamond uncovered by Djimon Hansou. ( Read more... )

Will President Bush never listen to me? I mean really, I'm starting to get offended. Get the fuck out of Iraq!

I've had dark baseball nightmares before. I was a Phillies fan in 1997, when the team started 24-61 and seemed a good bet to eclipse the '62 Mets record of futility. That team had Curt Schilling, Scott Rolen, and a bunch of nobodies, with a grand total of maybe one decent prospect in the minors. But so far this season's catastrophe has eclipsed ( Read more... )

Today I was told to stop riding my bike on Locust Walk by a fake cop riding a bike. He apparently did not see the irony...I was watching MSNBC coverage of the Virginia Tech disaster last night, when I witnessed one of the most disturbing displays of journalistic narcissism I think I've ever seen: At one point Brian Williams was talking to some ( Read more... )

Um. Is it too late for me to take back my Phillies division title prediction?
By the way, Charlie Manuel might want to start looking around for other employment opportunities.

But here are my predictions for the three divisions I didn't cover in excruciating detail last month ( Read more... )