I think you hit the nail on the head with the gender identity thing. I think people tend to throw themselves headlong into or away from it, but I think the key is to find what you love and embrace it, and leave the rest. I enjoy certain aspects of dudeness: I carry a knife and drink bourbon and wear oil- and paint-stained clothes and step into my friends' beefs and all that. At the same time, I tend to think of myself as being a pretty feminine man. Being a person is fun that way.
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