What the HELL are you people doing!?

[theholidaybear]

So I see all of you have been slacking off and writing the worst livejournal entries every witnessed, by a bear of such high caliber. I'm ashamed of you all and the rest of the human race you dry-hump daily. This brings me to a something that was asked of me years ago (before we migrated to the northern side of Juneau that is). It was asked, "

Comments

[anonymous]

Holiday Bear you are a big phony. Word on the street is you aren't even a bear at all. Word is you are a human in a big, white bear suit. I am a real bear, what do you know about living in the artic and freezing when temperatures get sub-zero?? Or about the shortage of blue trout fish, indigenious only in the artic and prone to shortages because of the population of polar bears outnumbering the blue trout? You live in Alaska everyone knows only pussy bears live there, how about coming out to the real 'hood and try surviving. Your ass would be on ice... pun intended.

[theholidaybear]

Listen here, punk. I was a bear long before the word "bear" existed, and I'm supposed to sit here and take a whole load of nonsense from some wannabe-trash-talking-know-nothing-can't-catch-a-trout-if-his-existence-counted-on-it scum-sucking-low-life? Please...I think not! I mean seriously, doesn't the word "Arctic Assassin" mean anything to you? It probably doesn't because they only call bears from JUNEAU that! So take your warm weathered climate scrub ass up the street and go buy me a hoagie...make yourself useful.

[anonymous]

A hoagie????? What self-respecting polar bear eats hoagies??? See jsut as I thought you can't hunt for yourself and catch your own meal. Survival of the fittest my friend and you would be dead!!!! So, I will be honing my killing tactics while you lollygag on your fat back getting full on human fast food in pussy Alaska. Anytime you wanna to see how the big boys do it come to the North Pole.

[theholidaybear]

I think you're missing the point here, but I knew you would. I prepared a back-up explaination for the likes of you.

I can request hoagies and other "human" foods as much as I want, because I am the closest thing to a human being you will ever see. Would I be part of Ursa Satanis if this weren't true? So shut the hell up...and while you're at it, go get me that fucking hoagie I ordered you to get like the dumb bitch from the North Pole that you are. That's probably not the only "pole" you're on anyway.

[anonymous]

The only othe rpole I am on is yours big boy!!! 3 exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[theholidaybear]