I've been listening to this song a lot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-1J6rQi0Ds

"Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you"

Perhaps, I'm being a bitch?  Regardless of my feelings for her I should just push through it?  Something to ponder.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbOqRyDASRM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v= ( Read more... )

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=325839730868&ref=nf

The title says it all.  I use whatever, nothing, and fine when I'm angry haha.

Listening to a lot of Taeyang.  Damn he has a nice body haha.

After talking with my cousin Jesika, she seemed to sympathize with what I was going through.  I asked her how long it took her to get over ( Read more... )

I'm curious if this journal is actually help me vent about my feelings or if it's just helping me obsess over her.  The question keeps coming up... Does she even think about me?  Is it hard for her to go without calling me.  I think I know the answer, but it's not what I want to hear so I'll dismiss it.  After going to the mall the other day with ( Read more... )

I finally was able to cry today while watching http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uthxUVMcYwRead more... )

What binds humans ( Read more... )

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.  As soon as I wake up, the first thing that comes to mind is I wonder what she is up to and I wonder what she did last night.  I want to sleep more.  I hate this feeling.  I hate knowing that this only effects me.  I want to crawl back to her and I hate that it won't do/mean anything to anyone but me.  I hate that I can't sleep ( Read more... )

It's weird to think that it's only been a week.  It has felt like it has been years.  More so was today, day one of no contact with her.  Initially when I got to work I felt like crap.  I told myself to suck it up and push through it.  I just stood in the junior's section folding clothes and fixing the racks.  It was so mind numbing, so I decided ( Read more... )

Talking to my big bro Mari.  She makes me happy :]  She cared enough to see what was wrong and I got all excited when I heard that she might be seeing someone.  So at least I can be happy for other people's relationships at the moment.

*Note: I think it was awkward last night when Rudy and Trish were talking about their wedding ceremony with Darin ( Read more... )

Okay well this is a fucking depressing epiphany.  Christine loved bowling.  I have a bad wrist so we never went together.  It took Justin Beiber's - Baby to fucking realize it.  It came to me when I saw the girl bowl and she looked so cute and then I wondered if that's what Christine looked like when she bowled.  Man, I was a douche.  I never took ( Read more... )

I just woke up to two back to back horrible nightmares.  In a nutshell I was protecting Christine from someone or something.  She was in an empty theatre and i was guarding the doors in one.  The other she was sitting on the bleachers at some high school sort of function, maybe a carnival.  I was suppose to protect her there too.  I was doing a ( Read more... )