I won't eat broccoli

[themenow]

Do you ever find yourself fighting against a specific part of who you are? For instance, say you have a dire aversion to broccoli but everybody keeps telling you to eat it. So you try to eat it. It makes you sick. But you still feel pressured by friends and family to keep trying to eat broccoli. No matter how many times you try it, no matter how

Comments

[mysteena]

The thing is, I don't think of you as a person who needs to toughen up at all. I'm just surprised that someone said that to you. Why is it that everyone thinks others should be just like them? So instead of taking responsibility for these unreasonable challenges they are placing on you, they just expect you to magically rise to the expectations? Makes no sense to me.

[themenow]

I've been told this my entire life. At home, at work. Everybody says I need to toughen up, grow some thicker skin.

But yeah, that's how it's always been. That's how it is now. Up until I wrote this blog post I have always felt that something was wrong with me because people were always saying that. At least two people per job have told me to grow some thick skin. The weirdest place I heard it was when I was working at the church. Of all places to need to be less sensitive....

Granted, I can't go around and expect people to lay marshmallows on the floor for me or tiptoe around. But I'd like to change this weird corporate mindset that one must have thick skin to be able to work with others. It's ridiculous.

[mysteena]

I just can't wrap my mind around the image of you as some one who is hyper sensitive. I guess it's because that aspect of you never was a source of conflict between us as we were growing up? Do you remember Naomi Handy? She was my bff in fifth and sixth grade and she was so super sensitive that it was quite difficult to be her friend. She was always upset at something I'd said, or didn't say, or did or didn't do. I never felt that from you, at all.

I can be sensitive too, like how I completely freaked out over that "too chatty" comment. I really did over-react. No one likes to be criticized, that's just how it is. Why should we grow thick skin just so people can criticize us without feeling guilty?!

[themenow]

I remember Naomi, she was sweet but yes, I remember her crying a lot. I will say that her sister totally saved my neck once. I left a notebook on the bus and it had my name and phone number in it. My mom had just about had it with me forgetting homework and stuff and just as she was about to throw the book at me Naomi's sister called to say she found it and would I like to come get it. Praise Jeeezus! Seriously, I was so grateful.

I know that I can over-react, and it is something I work on. But the last 8 months have been awful. I think I just hit a point where I am just sick of other people's excuses for their misbehavior.

I know that you would totally call me out if I were being unreasonable about my work crap. Mike and Sarah too, I've talked to them and you all say the same thing. I'm not over-reacting here. This stuff is nuts.

[julieo]

You should read "The Highly Sensitive Person". It's an awesome book with some great insight for the sensitive person, and their friends/family who may not be as sensitive.

Also, you are awesome just the way you are. <3

[themenow]

thank you, I will totally get that book. I mostly get this at work. My friends and Mike know that this is who I am. It's people at work who don't want to get to know me and use my sensitivity as an excuse for not wanting to make changes or as an excuse for their own behavior.

[julieo]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Wendi. Those people sounds like total jerks. Ugh.

[themenow]

Yay our library has the book. I'm putting it on hold now. I also got Seth Godin's "the dip" (a little book that teaches you when to quit and when to stick). We'll see. I've got a therapy appointment for later in the week. I'm going to channel Tim Gunn, be myself and make it work.