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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, THORALD WEATHERBY the III, ESQUIRE!

On this most auspicious day, I, King Lemontwinkle of Cananadadidaiaaauuuoogguuuiiiaaa, gift unto thee a most amusing little ditty that hath only minutes ago reached mine ear.  It was called "Albie the Racist Dragon."

Basically... in the magical forest with make-believe trees and ( Read more... )

Fuck it.
I give up.

I.  Give.  Up.

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The Comedy Studio
It's a tiny, secret comedy club in the attic of a Chinese restaurant, over by Harvard in Cambridge. 
Most stand-ups get started there (Dane Cook, the writer for Conan O'Brien--O'Brian?, to name, um, 2.)
You can order Chinese food, drink a legendary Scorpion Bowl (plus plastic cocktail animals, which makes it 100% cooler ( Read more... )

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That's right, you little piece of shit asshole.  I have officially coined you a new name: MUGGERFUCKER.  Because that's what you are.  Yeah, you know who I'm talking to: punkass shithead dumbfuck mugger in the Fens.  Approximately 5'4"-5'6".  Of slight afro, pale african complexion, white shirt, jeans, tiny mustache because you're not ( Read more... )

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One or two of my Tioga cruise photos might get published in a mazagiiiine.

Now if only I could pass Orgo II. 
Life would be cake.

Yes.  CAKE.

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Let's get this straight:

1.) The Big Dig was supposed to take... how long?  And it took, how long?  10 years?  15 years?
2.)  It was supposed to cost... what, a couple million?  Try $14.6 billion.
3.)  Funnier, and funnier still--they finished--ahem, "finished"--the project and it made absolutely no difference because the traffic ( Read more... )

Dear Papa ( Read more... )

Why hello, LiveJournal.  It's been awhile ( Read more... )

Tomorrow I leave for my 2 week voyage at sea, which I've realized means I'm spending half the month of June on the ocean.  Cool ( Read more... )

If the red tide blooms to last year's proportions, Bruce is going to offer me a full-time position at the Wood's Hole Oceanographic Institution and I'll receive the students' stipend of $1250 a month ( Read more... )