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today i applied for school. the stupid essay had to be more than 400 words, but no more than 4000 characters. i wrote my essay with that in mind and did a word count at the end. it was 5500 characters. eff. so i pared it down at came up with 3996. niiice. the essay wasn't nearly as good as it could have been, but it wasn't bad
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1. I want to punch the asshole that signed their name so large that they take up the entire bottom left quarter of the menu. The sheer arrogance that they feel, being able to take up that much space... that it is their self-given right to show how important they are with big fuckin' letters... taking just a little bit of the glory of being a VIP guest away from you. And, that they even included the "II" after their name. P.J. the Second. I would so write them a strongly worded letter demanding compensation in the form of free passes to Disneyland on account of how belittling the experience was.
2. Two people signed "Have a Magical Day." That makes me want to drown kittens.
Fuck, man.
I think I have anger issues.
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2. my guess is that under disney law they only have a limited number of personal greetings they are allowed to sign their name with. and somebody else already took "have a wonderful disney day".
aaaand you do.
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Stupidest. Prize. Ever.
Shit, I bet I could convince the staff at Chili's to sign a menu for me. That is, assuming I was the least bit interested in collecting autographs of morons who work minimum wage jobs and probably have MySpace pages that sparkle and make lots of irritating noises.
I can't believe they won't shell out the 30 or so bucks a day it would cost to feed two people. Or rather, the $2.23 it actually costs them.
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xoxo
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