The following is written so that I may grow as a person, hopefully. It is not written so your list of obligations can grow, so please don't feel the need to read it.
A little hope hun....elfearzJanuary 25 2010, 01:17:58 UTC
"Therefore the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon their head: they shall obtain gladness and joy; and sorrow and mourning shall flee away." -Isaiah 51:11
I know how you feel. I was just complaining about not being enough. I hate it. I hate feeling useless. Everyone around me is miserable and I just make it worse when I try to help. Sometimes I wish I could vanish, but that would hurt some people. I progress to never being born, to never being thought of. That way people would be happier, and even the guilt of wishing me away would not dampen their moods. Then I think how stupid and egotistical it is to think that my NOT being there will make anything better. I think thats why I distance myself from people, I think they will be better off sometimes with the lack of me. So the question burns, "Would I do more good if I were gone or if I were here." I can do better here, I can fix things, I can ease SOMEBODY'S pain, and maybe feel better about ruining my fathers life, being a jerk to Newbi, telling my stepdad I hated him just before he died, barely knowing my grandpa before he died, and now bringing someone I love more than anything on the planet into this madness. Maybe I can forget
( ... )
Both of you are certainly enough. I know it sounds cliche, but its true: God accepts you for who you are with all your fears and failures along with your strengths.
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-Isaiah 51:11
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