i don't have the energy to really talk about it. stephanie is probably right, i shouldn't even say anything at all (to him.) 
i am a mess right now. my life is a mess.

so yeah. school is crazy. why did i sign up for an 8:30 class knowing i wouldn't go to it? goodness. i am never going to graduate. 
halloween is gonna rule cause i am optimus prime. and i send this message to any surviving autobots taking refuge among the stars. we are here, we are waiting. 
so i think i will be okay. i mean i know i will. let's not ( Read more... )

oh man. this summer was crazy. everything is so different. now that classes have started i feel like i haven't been in school forever for some reason. it is weird. i'm nervous about my math class. i went to political theory this morning and the professor is new and she seems nice and whatever, but she acts like oh my god we have never encountered ( Read more... )

you and i are like when fire and the ocean floor collide.

yesterday was better than today. i was wondering how come it hurts so bad when i was thinking about doing it too...only i hadn't got the courage yet. maybe because my reasons were so different than his. i don't think i've ever been in a relationship where it seemed fine but turns out we were both on different pages pretty much the whole time. for ( Read more... )

i am more okay right now than i expected. and that is good.

and it takes bites
out of your insides
til you are just a hollow shell

maybe i'll make a non private entry for once.
maybe i should have left the cd's.
maybe i'm really dumb.
maybe i'll never ever get to be where i was.
maybe i'm fine.
maybe not.

10:00 cannot possibly come fast ennough.

side note: mai tai's are deeelicious.

i've learned to never imagine yourself anywhere because when the time comes and you're in a completely different place and it's nothing like what you imagined, it hurts like nothing else.

i do not want to go to work at five.

i'm unhappy. i'm going to give it a week. i'm going to try not to care as much as i do. i'm going to try to not be so sensitive. i'm going to try and let go a little bit, or a lot. im going to try. i'm not going to give up just yet. so much of this is so riduculous, so much of it. i'm not going to lie to myself and i'm not going to pretend. i'm ( Read more... )