over the past week, i've come to the realization that my life can be so much more. i feel like i waste my time sleeping and doing nothing constructive and that, because of this, i don't deserve what i have. so, i've decided to start giving back some. God has given me the ability to see all the beauty he's created on earth, but i lay in bed all day ( Read more... )

i feel like i'm always setting myself up for disappointment. the faith and trust that i take from myself and give to people leaves me with nothing but hope that they won't take these components and crush them. when this happens, it becomes even more difficult for me to trust someone else. i feel that when a person reaches the point where i can ( Read more... )

i love how little, almost invisible things mix themselves together to form an amazing moment or experience. this weekend, i realized how much good i have in my life and how i don't even deserve it. i'm beginning to realize that my happiness doesn't depend on other people anymore, but simply on me. for so long, i've looked to others to fill the ( Read more... )

this journal is between andrew and myra only

i am starting to remember who i am again.. starting to regain this feeling of KNOWING how amazing and beautiful and confident i am. it feels so good.

so the breaking point occured the other night. i reached my all-time low, and now things can only go up. i take things to heart, and when someone hurts me, everything else in my life is put on hold. megan made me SO fucking mad tonight. the whole andrew issue is driving me insane. she FREAKS out about everything, and i almost told her the other ( Read more... )

things aren't good these days. i need to get away. and to find myself again. i've forgotten lately... and i've become so absorbed in trying to be with scott and in trying to be a perfect friend and daughter and student that i don't even remember who i was before this week. or this summer. i miss me and feeling like i was worth something even when i ( Read more... )

last weekend was incredible. i had more realizations in two days than i've had all summer. brian and i spent friday night together in bluefield. he treats me so well, hugging on me, and always being respectful. we had fun just being together and talking. he's one of those people who you feel you can tell anything to, and they'll understand. or ( Read more... )

i was thinking last night about how much i regret fooling around with tyler. i truly think scott and i would still be together that whole situation hadn't occured. i've known tyler since fucking 11th grade. and i always disliked him. i hate saying that i was friends with him because i felt sorry for him. and what does that say about me making out ( Read more... )

so, wow. seven years ago, i fell in love with dave matthews band. they got my through 9th and 10th grade. they changed my way of thinking. my musical tastes. their music has added so much to my life, and last night i saw them live ( Read more... )