[Extra Christmas-present] You were always there
Title: You were always there
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG
Genre: mild Angst, Romance, Fluff
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story T^T
Summary: You were always there for me, and not only one time I asked myself why you were always there.
Warning: unbeta-ed :P Sorry for my mistakes.
A/N: Continuation of I was always here, because I couldn't help it, Ohmiya has to be together @___@
Hope you enjoy this ♥♥♥
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The door of the hospital room closed behind me quietly, and I didn’t dare to look back because I knew you weren’t looking at me. I could see it by the way your eyes kept darting around the room when we were there and never once you caught my eyes. Didn’t you see that I was looking at you? I wanted to ask, I wanted to come close to you and just hold your hand and asked if you were okay, but you gave me the feeling that you wanted to keep distance. So I could do nothing but gave you the place you needed.
When you broke and cried, I had no idea what to do so I just hold you in my arms, but you wouldn’t stop crying and I felt like you wanted to push me away. And somewhere, in my chest, something so uncomfortable squirmed and I wanted to run away. I was confused, I didn’t know what this was, this feeling inside my chest when you looked at me, this fear that I would somehow fall into another endless pain if I ever fall in love with you.
I’d had enough from the love with Sho, and I had ended it because Sho loved Aiba and I loved Aiba, too. It was just that. And for a very long time I didn’t dare to think about ‘love’ anymore.
But you were there. You were always there for me, and not only one time I asked myself why you were always there. As though if I reached out my hand, I could hold you, so warm and so solid, and I could bury all my sadness under the warmth of your skin, the tender of your touch, and finally I could smile again.
But you never once told me what I was for you.
I was confused, and I was scared. I was never sure when it concerned you.
So I didn’t dare to make any move. Maybe I did love you, because there was always a fondness inside my tighten chest whenever I thought about you. When I looked at you secretly - because it would be so embarrassing if you caught my stare - I always saw something that was sad and lonely in your eyes. I wanted to ask - I always wanted to ask, but because you would never tell me, so I didn’t. I just sat beside you and hold your hand when I was allowed, and I was waiting. Waiting for you to say something. Waiting for you to do something.
But you didn’t.
You just cared for me like you cared for Aiba, like you cared for Sho, or for Jun. You cared for me just because I was your friend, your band mate, and I could never allow myself to believe that you cared about me because I was special.
Because it would hurt if you didn’t. And I knew you didn’t.
I didn’t know where all this came from. You were the only one know about my love for Sho, and you always comforted me the best way you could. I could be over him, maybe it was because of you. Maybe it was because of you that I realized there was someone I did care about more than Sho, and there was someone I could never risk to lose, there was someone that could make me happy, that I could be myself when I was with.
And that someone was you.
But you never gave me a chance to say it. You looked like you were living in your own world and you didn’t open your door for me. I was waiting, but never once I dared to knock on that door, because I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you never opened it.
That night when you were crying, I was also crying too, in my heart. I wanted to wipe those tears away, but I didn’t know - I knew nothing about your love, I never asked, or you never told me - I didn’t know how to bring back your smile. I hugged you clumsily, and you were trembling, and I helplessly gathered you in my arms.
But you didn’t look at me when I left.
I didn’t know if it was because you wanted me to leave. Or you didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t know, so I stood there, totally clueless, outside the hospital room, stared into nothing until Sho came back and asked me if I was alright. I shook my head. You were not alright, and so did I. More than that, I didn’t know how to help you, it was worse. Sho just smiled at me and told me to come back, because maybe you were waiting for me. The thought excited me, but I was scared - I was always bad when it came to love - I didn’t dare to. I didn’t want to open to door without your permission and just jump into your world without waiting for invitation.
Sho didn’t push me, but left and let me time to think. I stared at the door for how long I didn’t realize, until finally, I took a deep breath and push it open.
And you were there, your eyes staring at me in astonishment, and at that moment I felt like you wanted to run away. Why did you want to run away from me? I stepped inside the room completely and closed the door behind me quietly. You looked scared. But also hopeful. And you smiled, just a little, nervous-like, and I wanted to hug you so much that every cell in my body was screaming.
So I did.
I said nothing but took two long strides and I was right beside you, and before you could escape, I hugged you tightly in my arms. I didn’t know that I was trembling until then, and you sensed it too, so you stopped struggling and hesitantly hugged me back. Your arms closed around me and I felt that same tug at my heart again, that same feeling that was hurt but also so happy that I could cry. I buried my face to your shoulder, I heard your breath quickened and I wondered why, but then you were kissing my ears and I shivered. This was something totally new but it was good beyond my imagination.
You were saying something into my ears. Because those words were too familiar yet too strange when it came from your mouth, at first I didn’t believe it. But you kept calling my name and then you didn’t stop kissing me, I felt like my heart was bursting out of my chest as I felt like crying.
But then you said sorry, sorry, I didn’t understand why you were apologizing. I pulled back, and I saw the sadness once again inside your eyes. My chest tightened as I wanted it to disappear. I wanted to you to be happy.
“Why are you sorry?” I asked, my voice low and soft that I barely heard it. You shook your head, and I was more confused, my brows frowned and as if you took it as my rejection, you started to push me away and told me to leave you alone. I didn’t understand why, but I stubbornly kept my hold on your arms, and I told you I wouldn’t leave, because I wanted to be here for you, just like every other time when you were there for me.
“Ohchan,” I called you and I felt you stiffen under my touch, but you kept looking somewhere else but never my eyes. I had to stop your movement, I had to stop your tears. So I pulled you closer with both my arms and I kissed you on your lips, light like a feather and you stilled, your eyes wide open when I pulled back.
“You never let me say something,” I admitted when I saw your stare, and I could feel my face burn. But then my words stuck in my throat. You said you loved me, you loved me, but you were sorry, and why were you sorry?
“Nino, I…” You mumbled, and you looked shock that you barely said something when I continued.
“Do you regret loving me…?” I asked, because it was the first thing I could come up with, because it would hurt me if it was true.
“No,” You said hurriedly, and in a second my pain was dissipated as if it had never there. I smiled in tears when you stuttered, “I love you, I still, but…”
I waited for you to continue. You looked scared, but then you talked.
“I’m sorry for saying it now,” You said, and when you caught my questioning eyes, you added hurriedly “Because… you and Sho - you finally - I don’t know. But you are happy - and I, I don’t want to - but I…”
You took a deep breath, and before I could understand your incoherent words, you said finally.
“Congrats, Nino.” You smiled, but your smiled was force and sad and I never wanted it to be there, so I put my finger over your lips.
“I’m not with Sho,” I murmured, and your eyes widen as you asked me silently. I continued “I’ve been over him… I’m in love with someone else right now.”
And you looked like you wanted to ask, you wanted to know, but you didn’t dare to ask. It was embarrassing to just say those words when you were staring at me like that. I was never good at confessing, so I just leaned in and kissed you again. This time, you closed your eyes and kissed me back, our arms wounded around each other and I felt like I could die from happiness.
“It’s my answer,” I said finally when we parted, and you looked like you were going to burst out crying, and I hugged you again. “I… I don’t know when, but I have fallen in love with you for a long time now…”
You tightened your arms around me, as if asking really, and I just nodded, my face buried into the crook of your neck. I could feel your smile on my skin when you kissed my neck, when you kissed me everywhere you could reach. Your lips warm and wet on my skin, and for the first time of my life I realized how much I wanted this, and maybe I’d been waiting for it since the first time I realized I had fallen for you.
I didn’t remember how long it had been since the last time I felt so light inside my chest, so happy like this.
Maybe it was because of the love for you.
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A/N: And this is really the end :P :P :P ♥♥♥ MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE ♥♥♥
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG
Genre: mild Angst, Romance, Fluff
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story T^T
Summary: You were always there for me, and not only one time I asked myself why you were always there.
Warning: unbeta-ed :P Sorry for my mistakes.
A/N: Continuation of I was always here, because I couldn't help it, Ohmiya has to be together @___@
Hope you enjoy this ♥♥♥
-----------------------
The door of the hospital room closed behind me quietly, and I didn’t dare to look back because I knew you weren’t looking at me. I could see it by the way your eyes kept darting around the room when we were there and never once you caught my eyes. Didn’t you see that I was looking at you? I wanted to ask, I wanted to come close to you and just hold your hand and asked if you were okay, but you gave me the feeling that you wanted to keep distance. So I could do nothing but gave you the place you needed.
When you broke and cried, I had no idea what to do so I just hold you in my arms, but you wouldn’t stop crying and I felt like you wanted to push me away. And somewhere, in my chest, something so uncomfortable squirmed and I wanted to run away. I was confused, I didn’t know what this was, this feeling inside my chest when you looked at me, this fear that I would somehow fall into another endless pain if I ever fall in love with you.
I’d had enough from the love with Sho, and I had ended it because Sho loved Aiba and I loved Aiba, too. It was just that. And for a very long time I didn’t dare to think about ‘love’ anymore.
But you were there. You were always there for me, and not only one time I asked myself why you were always there. As though if I reached out my hand, I could hold you, so warm and so solid, and I could bury all my sadness under the warmth of your skin, the tender of your touch, and finally I could smile again.
But you never once told me what I was for you.
I was confused, and I was scared. I was never sure when it concerned you.
So I didn’t dare to make any move. Maybe I did love you, because there was always a fondness inside my tighten chest whenever I thought about you. When I looked at you secretly - because it would be so embarrassing if you caught my stare - I always saw something that was sad and lonely in your eyes. I wanted to ask - I always wanted to ask, but because you would never tell me, so I didn’t. I just sat beside you and hold your hand when I was allowed, and I was waiting. Waiting for you to say something. Waiting for you to do something.
But you didn’t.
You just cared for me like you cared for Aiba, like you cared for Sho, or for Jun. You cared for me just because I was your friend, your band mate, and I could never allow myself to believe that you cared about me because I was special.
Because it would hurt if you didn’t. And I knew you didn’t.
I didn’t know where all this came from. You were the only one know about my love for Sho, and you always comforted me the best way you could. I could be over him, maybe it was because of you. Maybe it was because of you that I realized there was someone I did care about more than Sho, and there was someone I could never risk to lose, there was someone that could make me happy, that I could be myself when I was with.
And that someone was you.
But you never gave me a chance to say it. You looked like you were living in your own world and you didn’t open your door for me. I was waiting, but never once I dared to knock on that door, because I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you never opened it.
That night when you were crying, I was also crying too, in my heart. I wanted to wipe those tears away, but I didn’t know - I knew nothing about your love, I never asked, or you never told me - I didn’t know how to bring back your smile. I hugged you clumsily, and you were trembling, and I helplessly gathered you in my arms.
But you didn’t look at me when I left.
I didn’t know if it was because you wanted me to leave. Or you didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t know, so I stood there, totally clueless, outside the hospital room, stared into nothing until Sho came back and asked me if I was alright. I shook my head. You were not alright, and so did I. More than that, I didn’t know how to help you, it was worse. Sho just smiled at me and told me to come back, because maybe you were waiting for me. The thought excited me, but I was scared - I was always bad when it came to love - I didn’t dare to. I didn’t want to open to door without your permission and just jump into your world without waiting for invitation.
Sho didn’t push me, but left and let me time to think. I stared at the door for how long I didn’t realize, until finally, I took a deep breath and push it open.
And you were there, your eyes staring at me in astonishment, and at that moment I felt like you wanted to run away. Why did you want to run away from me? I stepped inside the room completely and closed the door behind me quietly. You looked scared. But also hopeful. And you smiled, just a little, nervous-like, and I wanted to hug you so much that every cell in my body was screaming.
So I did.
I said nothing but took two long strides and I was right beside you, and before you could escape, I hugged you tightly in my arms. I didn’t know that I was trembling until then, and you sensed it too, so you stopped struggling and hesitantly hugged me back. Your arms closed around me and I felt that same tug at my heart again, that same feeling that was hurt but also so happy that I could cry. I buried my face to your shoulder, I heard your breath quickened and I wondered why, but then you were kissing my ears and I shivered. This was something totally new but it was good beyond my imagination.
You were saying something into my ears. Because those words were too familiar yet too strange when it came from your mouth, at first I didn’t believe it. But you kept calling my name and then you didn’t stop kissing me, I felt like my heart was bursting out of my chest as I felt like crying.
But then you said sorry, sorry, I didn’t understand why you were apologizing. I pulled back, and I saw the sadness once again inside your eyes. My chest tightened as I wanted it to disappear. I wanted to you to be happy.
“Why are you sorry?” I asked, my voice low and soft that I barely heard it. You shook your head, and I was more confused, my brows frowned and as if you took it as my rejection, you started to push me away and told me to leave you alone. I didn’t understand why, but I stubbornly kept my hold on your arms, and I told you I wouldn’t leave, because I wanted to be here for you, just like every other time when you were there for me.
“Ohchan,” I called you and I felt you stiffen under my touch, but you kept looking somewhere else but never my eyes. I had to stop your movement, I had to stop your tears. So I pulled you closer with both my arms and I kissed you on your lips, light like a feather and you stilled, your eyes wide open when I pulled back.
“You never let me say something,” I admitted when I saw your stare, and I could feel my face burn. But then my words stuck in my throat. You said you loved me, you loved me, but you were sorry, and why were you sorry?
“Nino, I…” You mumbled, and you looked shock that you barely said something when I continued.
“Do you regret loving me…?” I asked, because it was the first thing I could come up with, because it would hurt me if it was true.
“No,” You said hurriedly, and in a second my pain was dissipated as if it had never there. I smiled in tears when you stuttered, “I love you, I still, but…”
I waited for you to continue. You looked scared, but then you talked.
“I’m sorry for saying it now,” You said, and when you caught my questioning eyes, you added hurriedly “Because… you and Sho - you finally - I don’t know. But you are happy - and I, I don’t want to - but I…”
You took a deep breath, and before I could understand your incoherent words, you said finally.
“Congrats, Nino.” You smiled, but your smiled was force and sad and I never wanted it to be there, so I put my finger over your lips.
“I’m not with Sho,” I murmured, and your eyes widen as you asked me silently. I continued “I’ve been over him… I’m in love with someone else right now.”
And you looked like you wanted to ask, you wanted to know, but you didn’t dare to ask. It was embarrassing to just say those words when you were staring at me like that. I was never good at confessing, so I just leaned in and kissed you again. This time, you closed your eyes and kissed me back, our arms wounded around each other and I felt like I could die from happiness.
“It’s my answer,” I said finally when we parted, and you looked like you were going to burst out crying, and I hugged you again. “I… I don’t know when, but I have fallen in love with you for a long time now…”
You tightened your arms around me, as if asking really, and I just nodded, my face buried into the crook of your neck. I could feel your smile on my skin when you kissed my neck, when you kissed me everywhere you could reach. Your lips warm and wet on my skin, and for the first time of my life I realized how much I wanted this, and maybe I’d been waiting for it since the first time I realized I had fallen for you.
I didn’t remember how long it had been since the last time I felt so light inside my chest, so happy like this.
Maybe it was because of the love for you.
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A/N: And this is really the end :P :P :P ♥♥♥ MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE ♥♥♥