about to leave to present my honors thesis. very anxious, quite possible i'll chuff. eating meatloaf right now won't help. listening to meatloaf might. two out of three ain't bad. drinking beer to take the edge off ( Read more... )

I fit into a pair of size 29 pants today, so apparently I've gotten thinner around the waist. But my gut keeps on keepin' on. I'll have to work on that.

On vanity license plates ( Read more... )

If everyone really was allowed one get-out-of-jail-free card, I think I would use mine to destroy Bono.

Today Paul was sitting up on the couch, just a like a human. It was the funniest thing. I wish I had a digital camera because I can't even describe how human-like it was. I mean, he was only doing it to get a better angle for cleaning his undercarriage, but still. He was kind of leaned back against a pillow just sort of lounging. It was ( Read more... )

I love my moms; she made enchiladas today, and she saved me a bowl of shredded beef to make a taco because she knows how much I love that shit.

I hate how an otherwise good song can be ruined for me by one little thing. Sometimes it's just a word or two that sounds awkward or stupid. For instance, when I can't listen to the whole song because I dread hearing a rapper rhyme "cinnamon toast" with "cinnamon toast ( Read more... )

Remember a few months ago when some dude kept calling my house for some other dude named Chris? He called back again today. This is what the message said: "Yakkety yak, don't talk back. Pick it up! Hey Chris, pick it up! Chris? Hel-lo-o?"

My brother and his wife lost their baby again. This is the second time in a couple years, so I doubt they'll want to try again for a long time ( Read more... )

I'm getting a cat today. I'm super pumped. I think I'm going to name him Hank.

UPDATE: I decided to name him Paul because he has a patch of black fur over his eye resembling the stage make-up worn by Paul Stanley of Kiss fame.

( Read more... )