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When you can't do anything but write
It is nearly 4 am on sunday morning very early or very late depending on your perspective. When nothing is in focus except your mind and fingers that you tend to forget the sublime the mundane and the obscene. The world become steely still with the scratching of paper or the typing of hands that are not seen. the world just brightens not from any ( Read more... ) -
Writing whilst sick in the middle of the night (sic)
I am sitting in my parent's kitchen and cold and hungry so ate instant soup, tea, gatorade, walnuts and a few other things. I'm sure this is not being read by anyone but I do it like my youtube as something I have to do since I can do it any time and ussually without restriction. The way that I write is sometimes boggling so tired that the only ( Read more... ) -
Hours of Waiting Death awaits
I'm watching something on my computer and it makes me happier with the sad news that I have lost a few friends again. I consider myself lucky as I have survived cancer on many many occasions. I know that anytime I'm hurt there is someone else hurt more then me. All I hope is hoping that my worst fears are not going to come through ( Read more... ) -
The solitude of early morning
The way that I see tings is not well um well. I have to go to funeral today after exploding at my brother for being the asshole that everyone knows about. He has been giving everyone attitude or the tude as i will name it. The tude came out because he was being lazy which turned to desperate trying to find a job. Most times I very very much doubt ( Read more... ) -
No I begin again like always
So I move on with my life knowing that there is one less thing to worry about and that thing is following me. Finding a job I have a short time to do it but I think that I can. I have some experience. Seeing how my life turned out I'm not sure I would have believed you in the last 5 years honestly ( Read more... ) -
The 5 days before Christmas The Day Brittany Murphy Died
I decided to post this because one I cannot sleep. Two I cannot eat well right that is. Three I am peeing blood though that stopped. Lastly I am scared beyond scared for the first time in my life ( Read more... ) -
Life Changing Car?
So it's done it's been a week almost since I have not had my car. For those of you who don't know I won a car for 7 months free of charge for gas and insurance. I realize that it seems like a wierd deal, we had to do promotion of the car and were told we could say anything we wanted ( Read more... ) -
i want to die again
the past years i have almost died of cancer alergies and the like. i have lost my jobs several friends and im not sure i can go on. I have learned that i cannot trust my parents so many times it non negotiable now. I post this from a phone stranded in vegas again and this is not the first time they have done this this year. I will go home dejected ( Read more... ) -
lost in a bad good way?
I'm not sure why I'm writing this actually I'm awake and I'm just well left out I feel left out most of the time and I'm not sure what I'm doing. I'm just editing until the middle of the night and well I'm editing. tomorrow is well I guess today is halloween and I'm not sure what I'm doing going to but I'm doing something tonight dammit. I also ( Read more... ) -
i dont know who reads this but who cares to SF i wil go
Wow i have ben either in sac or sf for 3 of the last 4 weeks. I've ben on the road alot and this is something i needed i found out. As i have ben posting most thiungs from my phone its ben interesting creating content on the road. most times i will just dump it onto my desktop but this wasnt feasable this time so instead my mac gets to travel even ( Read more... )