I feel like, in all of my relations, that I am the one of the two that puts forth the more effort...

Or if there even is someone.. it seems like they aren't up for the challenge of meeting.. and if they are.. IT'S ME DOING EVERYTHING.. i realize that's better than nothing, yet it makes me feel like its more me than them... ugh ( Read more... )

I feel so.. desperate... I don't know if that's the right word for it all.. I mean. I want soo badly to have some kind of relationship or some meaningful experience with a girl.. I dream it constantly... it's like, I have fallen in love with a dream. it hasn't happened, yet its all I think about. desperate is such a harsh word... yet is that what ( Read more... )

I have pictures I just, for some reason, don't want to put them on here. If you would like to see, just let me know and I will be more then happy to let you see them.

So I did it. Thursday night was raw talent, and I sang and played the guitar ...I went there not knowing that I was going to, but once we got there. I missed the whole show, due to the fact of Mr. Haws lecturing me on how I must change, and commit myself. He gave me a huge guilt trip for not trying out previously. But besides that, it was ( Read more... )

I want to start posting again on this journal. ... I made a different one, cause I wanted my friends to be able to see my posts.. (I am so not out)
Its sad, I know... but I don't know... I am not ready to change that right now.. no matter how badly I want it

So I got honorable mention ... 25 bucks. I am happy, a little upset that in the end Krysta did beat me... but I am ok.
I want to love someone. I want to sing to someone. I want to cry with someone. I want to hold someone. I want to kiss someone. I want to stare at someone. I want to spoon someone. I want to laugh with someone.
WHOEVER YOU ARE ...

Chalk festival was so great. ...stressful, yet great. I did a realistic up close picture of a man by Gerhard Ritcher. I totally nailed it. A lot of people think I'll get best of show Sophmore, but I have some tough competition... KRYSTA PALSON! I got a gnarly sun burn/ tan... unfortunetly of a t-shirt and soccer shorts. Getting down and dirty in ( Read more... )

... I hate that I fantasize about the beautiful women around, when in reality, they are the least bit sexually attracted to women. ... I would literally do anything to hold, touch, or kiss them ( Read more... )

This lj is lame.. I am making a straight username that will allow my friends to see me as they know me.. if you want it, let me know.

God, how lame am I?