1. I have a scar on my forehead/dent in my skull and a scar under my chin, which are the results of being dropped on my head as a child. Twice. Dropped. On my head. TWICE. I should have been raised by wolves ( Read more... )

My Awesome Christmas Mix Volume Five by Chas

Chapter One - Presents abound and excitement is hinted at.

1.  Christmas Vacation by Chevy Chase
2.  Step Into Christmas by Elton John
3.  It Feels Like Christmas by The Muppets
4.  You Make It Feel Like Christmas by Neil Diamond
5.  Holly Leaves And Christmas Trees by Elvis Presley 
6.  Baby It's Cold ( Read more... )

1. Fantasy football is both the greatest thing invented since fruitpunch in a juicebox and a plague on my life I'll never be able to shake ( Read more... )

Lifelong allegiance to the first band of heroes that covers this song.

 THE MAIN EVENT ( Read more... )

"Which one of you assholes is going to finish second?"  -- Larry Bird

Man up, Celtics.  Man the fuck up.

Beat L.A.

"No one can believe the superhuman strength of Thunderlips! I am the Man!"  -- Thunderlips, Rocky III

Today is my birthday.  Feel free to schedule parades, award banquets and testimonial dinners in my honor.

A gang of French school children was assembled outside my building.  They were chain smoking non-filtered cigarettes and drinking red wine.  Their leader, a woman, without a beret, presumably their  teacher, approached me ( Read more... )

Your Hero:  "With all the re-structuring, have you considered appointing anyone generalissimo?  Because I think I'd be a great fit."

The President of Harvard University:  "Well.  I'll certainly consider it."

I'm in.

There are a scant 21 shopping days until my birthday ( Read more... )