So, some time has elapsed and I am bit more relaxed. My heart doesn't feel like it's gonna come out of my mouth. I am still hurt, and my heart is still shattered. However, I am slowly picking up the pieces again. I'm a bit sad, and I have lost my faith in religious people. Note: I have not lost faith in the church. I am just done with fake, ( Read more... )

So, the last few days have been a bombardment of negativity, stress, and multiple fires that needed putting out. Seriously, what the heck? I wasn't even involved in that first problem, and I was still cursed out. I was so stressed that I couldn't even focus on work. I cried so much yesterday. I wanted to scream so badly, I had the worst thoughts ( Read more... )

It's been quite a while. I forget that I still have this thing. I think that I will make it a point to start writing more. Well, more than just working on my novel, and my sermons. Yes, you heard me, I am writing a real novel. It's a story that has been inside of me for so long, and I just couldn't get it out. Oh well. Better late than never. I ( Read more... )

So, I am no longer frustrated or angry. I am simply tired beyond exhaustion. This sucks. Wow, it's even affecting my thought coordination. Oh well. Here I am at work wishing I were still in bed instead. *sigh* It has been a long couple of weeks for me. I think I need a short getaway or something. Any takers? As if anyone actually reads this thing ( Read more... )

So, here we are again. Unbelievable. I woke up today feeling blah. I am here at work dreading the day ahead of me. Ugh!! I want to crawl back into bed. It's such a dreary day outside. I am so weary inside too. I want to fall into sweet oblivion, and just stay there. Wow, seriously hate writer's block. I can't even think straight today. Maybe I'll ( Read more... )

So, I woke up this morning feeling empty inside. I feel as if I am wisp of gray matter taking up space that could be better used for something else. I feel so pathetic, sad, frustrated, and angry inside. I guess I got what I wanted. Did I even want this? I don't even know any more. I suppose it's good that I got my feelings out. However, I could ( Read more... )

So, I went off the deep end today. Afterwards, I cried about it. *sigh* I let my anger out, and somehow it controlled me. I merely went along for the ride. It was something most of my friends would've paid to see. I was just so enraged. Ugh!! Why am I so stupid?? Yes, I am throwing a huge pity party right now. I don't care. I believe in allowing ( Read more... )

*sigh* It has been a very long time since I have felt this level of rage, and anger welling deep within me. I want to scream. I want to lash out. I want to inflict physical pain on all those around me. I especially want to hurt those who claim to "love" me. I feel as I am on the brink of an explosion of some sort. I would love nothing more than to ( Read more... )

So, it has been a few months since we last spoke to each other. What is there that I can say? The correct question would be what is there that I am afraid to say? In either case, let us begin with the basics. I am now 30 years old, still alone, still preaching, and still seeking to please God. In other areas, I guess we should delve into each one ( Read more... )

So,  I am here at work now. Definitely not bored. Just not interested in working today. The pain in my leg is driving me nuts. However, there are bigger and better things to worry about. A friend told me today that the weather was an accurate reflection of her soul. Dark, dreary (bitterness), lightning (shouting with anger) , and rain (tears). I  ( Read more... )