im shaking.
and terrified.
but i have to do this.
im not sure its fair.
and my stomach drops.
and i dont know.
im not ready for it.
im ridiculously lost.
fuck.

i dont know.
i suck.
this sucks.
i dont know what to do.
i really dont.
i cant explain it.
im scared shitless.
of this.
of that.
everything.
this sucks.
i suck.

and i just ate half a container of sherbert.

i listened to the backstreet boys cd today ( Read more... )

one of the best feelings ( Read more... )

crickets i tell you ( Read more... )

hands down this has been the hardest year of my life.

and i hate being reminded of it.

because the present is so much better than the past.
and i wont forget that.

and i could do things differently.
and i know it. and im sorry.

to the present and future.

im so lucky. with pretty much everything.

i just feel like complete shit.
and im sorry.

i realized today how happy i am with my life.

to making memories.

i fucking hated today.