Round and Round i go. I was never recovering, I never wanted to stop. Spin that Black Circle I say. That will be for another day. I have the goals I set for myself in mind. I always forget the drugs get in the way of my goals, not directly but even an enemy that travels the most circuitous route can prove to be fatal. I am not ready to die. I am ( Read more... )

Here I am again, clean and not even close to serene but drug free all the same. Rehab was everything I thought it would be and more. I can't say I was the most receptive but I know I learned what I went to learn and even though the urge is in full effect I have decided to do the best I can with what I got and what I can make happen, go to meetings ( Read more... )

( love. )

U take a lot of time doing washing them dishes. I must say that even though we have had our squabbles lately I have also had amazing times as well. I have to get going, I hope you are able to follow my example or at least do the best you can with the situation that you find yourself in. I love you very much and will let you know as often as I can.

This will be my last entry for an indefinite amount of time. I am off to rehab. I got myself into a trap that tightens every time I struggle. I am not going to go into more detail and for the more curious of the masses, all you have to do is read the rest of the journal.

I thought i was replying to your questions, what haven't I answered? Why haven't you completed the yahoo add on yet? It still says add request pending? Get back to me tonight if you are still on. Do you like the new journal look?

I never really felt so bad in my life. I truly feel bad. I am sorry for doing the things that i have done. I cannot seem to help anyone and nothing i do seems to matter. I don't know what to say. Right now Family Guy is on and I like this show cuz I like to laugh, it takes me away from the life i live that doesn't make me laugh at all. I just feel ( Read more... )

The day I return to going to church is the day god apologizes... (((Laughing real hard)))))) Good luck?!!!huh I wonder that heaven doesn't have an appropriations committee up there like we have in the senate and the house down here....Who is calling all the shots? Is there a god or do we need to have some kind of meaning to place on this life? does ( Read more... )

FIVE THOUSAND FREAKING DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am filled right now with an incredible amount of self loathing. I look around and come up empty for new ways and means to hurt myself even more than I already have. I feel bad for those that are in my life. I am not the best person I could be for them and I doubt that anybody has seen the best I can do for a really long time. When the anger is ( Read more... )