during times like these,

i wish i had no one.

to have no expectation seems better than having expectation.
as with the latter you get let down by the faulty.

and all of us are faulty.

i ended up caring about her more than i ever ought to have. apparently.

right now, in this very moment ( Read more... )

i think my lack of entries revolves around not wanting such a long, overwhelming public record of my stupidities.

happy birthday old friend.

post script: something very beautiful is happening.

more slowly than i'd have imagined,

but it takes none of the beauty away.

On Saturday, I still loved him.

him.

[ahem].

i don't completely understand it. but in some strange way, it is happy to love, even if one is not loved in returnOn Monday, I had one of the most beautiful experiences ( Read more... )

i'm pretty sure i'm going insane ( Read more... )

day of the cheesefest: inauguration here ( Read more... )

i've been crying.

i still am.

i'm not even sure why. i just, am.

a few minutes ago, i decided i would stop. so i got up and went to the bathroom to wipe my tears and nose. i looked at myself in the mirror and my mouth downturned itself again. my eyes are the reddest i've seen them in a long time. i just stared and looked at myself. i took a step ( Read more... )