found out the details on the cancer. the family volunteered me to make the call because i was the only one who would understand the medical report given to my maw maw. cynicism is a slap in the face - if i had been born earlier instead of my jackass cousins, i would be a practicing oncologist fully prepared to walk my family thorugh this ( Read more... )

i found out that my grandfather has cancer tonight. more when i can process all of this.

gretchen has greatly ( confused )

a couple of days ago i got into a conversation with chris. it made me feel kind of sick. my best friend can be a manipulative bastard. generally its a quality i like about him... but you know when it backfires. anyway.

( Read more... )

AARRHHHH!!! i love my lsmsa buds, theyre totally rad... to a point. and i wish i knewhow to just be like yo! and stop them when ive had enough. like armand - cute kid. totally add, a little crazy, but funny as all hell. however he has this needy little side that bothers me. and he always refers to me as one of his girls. even though i ( Read more... )

i am sitting in my room, listening to a cd that makes me too sad to turn it off. i cant even bring myself to turn on the lights and i am perfectly content sitting in bed and sewing, just some mindless monotony to at least keep me going through the motions ( Read more... )

A)Happy Birthday!

B)when i regain mental capacity, i want to write down our adventure. itll go in my normal lj so... expect for me to leave out the details we wont ever forget.

i layed down in your bed and i listened to our songs and you felt so close. i closed my eyes and drifted away. i began to forget that everything tasted like blood and my dreams were only whimsicalities. i dreamed your package came in the mail and that you were here with me when i got it. i remember your expressions when i opened it... and it ( Read more... )

i dont want to get used to you not being around. thats the part in this that makes no sense. my entire life i meet people knowing that i will only say goodbye in the end. you can see it in my hands. they can give a friendly shake hello only for the practice of a wave goodbye ( Read more... )

every morning i wake up and i dont realize that you arent here. i dont remember that i dont knowhow long it will be until i see you again. i cant grasp the concept that the reason im so cold is that im alone, surrounded by people. but alone ( Read more... )