just like secret emo journals of the past, its time to move on and lay this little fish to rest. Moving away gave her wings, but they won't help her much in the water. So shes changed and youve changed and everythings changed. everything had to change. we couldnt go on that way. you will never be closer and you wouldnt even recognize me ( Read more... )

I’ve been carrying around this weight for months now. When you left, a piece of me went with you. For a while I found it difficult to breathe, to function. Over time, I began to fill that hole with stress and loneliness, so many negative emotions I cant even count. That isn’t all, though. That space is also full of love and memories. However ( Read more... )

1)I actually can updatemy livejournal every day. so i think i will. but i also think i am mostly going to update this one. because as it is, i dont really have time to read many other peoples and most of my thoughts i would prefer to keep to myself anyway ( Read more... )

i'm starting to become unhappy here. the worst part is that theres no real reason. im making good grades, im getting a decent amount of sleep (at least for an lsmsa student, im uber involved in church here now, and im advancing quite quickly in crew. speaking of which, i made the junior novice boat for the Regatta in Oklahoma City that Im going ( Read more... )

i wrote you a letter last night. its in an envelope with a stamp and everything. i wrote the letter that i was afraid to. you told me not to be scared and last night i was too fucking upset to be scared so i wrote the letter. i had every intention of mailing it too. but now i know that i cant...heres to another fucking death cab for cutie song

these days are getting longer and i always have more and more work to do. this weekend it has pushed me into a wallflower type state. i dont want to talk or play, just watch. just be. im on the outside looking in but im okay with that for a weekend. ill feel better once the homework is done ( Read more... )

sometimes at least we lived before we died isnt enough when i have to make it through the most difficult days ive ever met half alive. thats how i feel. half of me is gone, sometimes i need to you to make me feel like this is ok, that this has reason and purpose and a reason for so many days when i have to run three miles but i cant breathe. even ( Read more... )

moving to natchitoches has involved so many changes and adjustments. i mean just look at how often i update this or write a letter. i feel like i havent been trying at all ( Read more... )

I was taking a moment to reflect and pull pieces of memories together wheni got into the thought of zachary. we met because he made a pretentious comment and then threw me out of a mosh pit. when i was seething at the nerve of this emo kid, i never thought i would spend countless moments thinking about this person i fell in love with ( Read more... )

i lost more weight, that makes me nervous. even rae noticed and my clothes fit differently. i still have abotu 2 pounds before they start to freak again. maybe ill get lucky and pick up some weigth when i move to lissmiss. everybody else does supposedly. shh... quiet things that no one ever knows ( Read more... )