what is the best thing in life?

getting your house burgled? no, that's the kind of thing that happens to somebody else. but if it happened to you, you'd say "why me?" and your neighbor would say, "phew, well, that is the kind of thing that always happens to somebody else."

i am a waste of space. i am sorry you know me.

If you had sex with a dog, it would be bestiality. If you had sex with a dead dog, it would be necrophilia. If you had sex with a dead baby dog, it would be pedophilia. And, if you had sex with a dead baby dog that you're RELATED to, god almighty that would just be incestuous.
-devon

it's BORGONE! BORGOOONENNENENE

time for some good old fashioned audience participation: list six things that make you cringe!

1. veins/arteries/circulatory system/ mr mustard's massive jugulars.
2. leprechauns
3. having babies
4. heroine (just the idea... euughh....)
5. extra toes/fingers
6. extra homework (or noses)

nothing is more erotic than a good old fashioned harmony

i woke up yesterday morning, and threw up. my parents think i'm pregnant.

go figure

Matt figured out that if you rearrange the letters of "Matt Taylor and Rachel Child" you get

"a clear, dandy match to thrill"

cool, huh??
i thought it was cool, too.

if you hate auditions and you know it, clap your hands