Many times people say "I've lost the will to live" and to me this signal that I should kill them, because I'm such a concerned friend that those are the lengths I would go to to help out another person. I find that you never hear anyone say they've lost the will to sleep, or that they've lost the will to blink. I think the reasons for this is that ( Read more... )

The other day I was eating dinner at the dining hall (obviously) when my friend chris turned to me to complain about how UN-ripe the fruit was. I simply replied "it's not the fruit's fault, it's the dining halls!" Then I realized that I sound like the damn spokesperson for fruit. Like if fruit were to ever rape and kill a stripper I would have to ( Read more... )

The reason Nudism hasn't caught on as a national institution is quite simple, the problem hindering the whole deal is the fact that the penis looks like some sort of alien life form. Think about it, men don't mind looking at women, and women probably wouldn't have too much of a problem with it either, but nobody wants to see the one eyed wonder ( Read more... )

But i don't really know how to go about getting famous, so here is the best idea I have had thus far. What I am going to do is save up enough money to go to NYC, find the place where they film Live, with Regis and Kelly, wait until the show has started, then I am going to just run and beat the ever-loving shit out of Regis Philbin. The reason I am ( Read more... )

I wish i could decide on a career path, just everything i want to do there is no degree at school for. Honestly, i just don't think I have the right attitude to warrant success. Honestly even if I was born in ancient times i would have made a terrible hunter gatherer. Instead of killing the deer, i would follow it around making rude assessments of ( Read more... )

I finished my delicious Egg Foo Young, and then proceeded to what most people consider to be an extra fun thing that chinese restaurants include with every meal, the fortune cookie. I just want to take this opportunity now to say that I've never been a huge fan of those cocky little cookies, you get them and you open them, and there staring you in ( Read more... )

Today I thought I should write about the awesome couch we have in our dorm room. This thing is the mercedes benz of funiture. Well maybe it's not at the forefront of fashionable furniture but it's comfortability cannot be denied. Let me give some quick specs on my couch ( Read more... )

Well actually it's lame to think about how cool you are, unless your a rapper, so i think it would cancel out, which is really too bad because i'm a fan of implosions, even if it is my own head, implosions kick ass. Just as a quick reference here is a list of some more stuff that kicks ass ( Read more... )

Yeah so I completely forgot I had a Livejournal, but now that I have remembered, I'm definitely gunna start writing again. To start this entry off let me recap whats happened to me since the last one, i'm in college now, holdin it down for the ROC and the web at UB. I like college although its different than i pictured it. You wouldn't think that ( Read more... )

Ok so i haven't updated the LJ lately, but today i heard something that i had to post, now i would like to take this opportunity to tell you all that this story is completely TRUE ( Read more... )