Brokedown Palace

[thosewerepearls]

--

Neal dreamt about fire. Not a flame, or a flicker, but an entire world composed of it. And sound. Something louder than anything. Louder than the world ending. An explosion of sound, of ambulances, and fire-trucks and the earth splitting apart. And Peter’s crazed pulse.

Then silence. He dreamt about silence. Cool, dark,

Comments

[chayaasi]

I like how this is so elegant, how you've portrayed Neal's grief as mentally beautiful, while its physical manifestations cross into hysteria. I thought it was a very in-character way for him to deal with his trauma and the thread of need and desperation drawing him to Peter was very touching. The references to him wishing Peter was Kate at the end adds just enough ambiguity to make us want to question the wisdom of his next move, but I still thought it was a good ending that really fits the nature of this piece. Fantastic work, as usual!

[thosewerepearls]

Thank you so much. I hate to say it but all the potential-agnst of the final gave us so much to work with. Its sorta fabulous.

[gyzym]

Okay so I got online and I saw in my email a comment from you that said that you had finished this and I flew over here like a mapcap crazy person clicking too hard for my computer to handle only to find that YOU HAD WRITTEN ME A FIC TITLED AFTER, SERIOUSLY, MY FAVORITE GRATEFUL DEAD SONG. HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS RAISED BY A DEADHEAD? HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN GOING TO SHOWS SINCE I WAS 14? HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH THAT SONG ON THE SIDE OF A DIRTY LAKE SURROUNDED BY SMELLY HIPPIES AS A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL? HOW

[thosewerepearls]

hahah, maybe I am psychic. Quick! think of a number between one and ten.

I love the Grateful Dead, I didn't realize you would too. I was raised by a Deadhead too, what a coincidence! It's really just such an amazing song and its so desperate, so I thought it fit Neal's mind-frame perfect. One of my teachers, oddly enough, got me back on a Dead binge and just the last lines of the song, the whole "Fare you well, fare you well, I love you more than words can tell", is so appropriate for Neal's grief. But then the idea of the desperation between the two of them is so... this song is perfect.

I'm so glad you liked it. I've been seriously neglecting my original work for this fandom, because its awesome and there's just so much to work with. So perhaps I will be posting more stories soon?

[nightcamedown]

I have read many post-finale fics, and this the only one - THE ONLY ONE - that has made me cry. You captured the sensation of grief so beautifully - and not just some generic sense of sadness, but how Neal specifically would experience such a profound loss. I love how he looks for so many ways to escape, and how his appreciation for beauty becomes another form of punishment because it's just one more thing that keeps him from peace and the blankness he wants so badly.

I love how you develop so much dramatic tension in that final section and then resolve it with such painful, beautiful realism - wow. I don't know how you did it, but I'm completely in awe. Amazing!

[thosewerepearls]

I think Neal is a bit of hedonist. At the very least, I believe he's one of the few human beings who devote themselves to experiencing beauty. Because of this, whenever I want to write about grief and Neal, it always comes out as an attempt at the beautiful.

Thank you so much for comments!

[dracofiend]

I love how floaty and visceral this is, and how Neal sees the resemblance between Kate and El, because that gets me every time. I love those moments when Peter thinks he's too close to Neal, and the way he can remember every casual touch. Thanks for writing!

[thosewerepearls]

Kate is really like a younger version of El. This show loves brunettes, too, so they all seem like versions of each other from afar.

And thank you for commenting!

[elrhiarhodan]

This is probably the best Day One fic I've read. You've nailed Peter's feelings and POV so perfectly (I of course, love Protective!!HurtingforNeal!Peter). And the way you've got Neal down - words cannot describe it. I had tried to write a Day One story many times, and I couldn't find Neal's voice - so, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

Also - to echo gyzym, I adore the title. It's not only a great Dead song, it's also the title of one of my favorite books - and this story captures a bit of the feeling of that book, as well.

Elr.

[thosewerepearls]

Ah! That's such a compliment! Thank you. I'll admit, I haven't actually read other Day One fics. I've been caught up with, you know, real life that I haven't gotten a chance to read much.

I never heard of the book. Who's the author? And whats it about?

[elrhiarhodan]

The book is Brokedown Palace by Stephen Brust...a fantasy novel.

http://www.amazon.com/Brokedown-Palace-Steven-Brust/dp/0765315041/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1271376808&sr=1-1