"Will the McAllister sisters please stand back-to-back, I'm short on bullets." ::POP ( Read more... )

I'm engaged!

Yes, that's right! The man no one thought would be getting married has finally decided to tie the knot!
Here's a picture of my future husband. He's really sweet and he lets me call him Haazie. At least, he does in my mind.

...sadly, he doesn't know we're engaged yet. But I assure you, once he finds out he'll be just as excited as I am!

... ( Read more... )

One last Hail Mary pass...

I am rapidly reaching the end of my time here in Eugene.

I've been on a desperate search for employment for the last month with all attempts proving fruitless.

If anybody in Eugene knows anyone who wants to take over my lease as soon as possible, please let me know.

Or, if you know of any job opportunities that do not insist on multiple decades of ( Read more... )

 THE GREATEST WAY TO PLAY APPLES TO APPLES EVER: Instead of using the green adjective cards, have everyone select a red noun card arbitrarily and place it face down in a pile. Then, the person who didn't contribute a red card writes down a category without knowing the red cards. Then, the category is revealed and the best card is selected. HERE ARE ( Read more... )

 Jordan, stop leaving yourself logged in to my laptop, whorebagsluttroutdouchenozzlexxxxxxxxxxx.

In other news, keep him out of your kitchens/homes/wives! The American family will be DESTROYED.

Hoo boy. This one's a true gem. I don't know what else to say.

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Reasons why I love padparadscha :

1.) She is one rad chick.
2.) Her entries make me smile EVERY SINGLE TIME. She's like a delicious rocky road scoop of Dave Berry and Christine Amanpour: hilarious, yet insightful, with lots of nuttiness.
3.) SHE'S AS EXCITED ABOUT CHRISTMAS AS I AM, SO MUCH SO THAT SHE'S DECLARED IT THE HOLIDAY SEASON! WOOT!  (p.s. I think I  ( Read more... )

Me: "How many dead hookers are in the trunk of your car?"
Him: "About three, and a black baby."

I think I'm in love. hahahaha

SERIOUSLY, DO YOU NEED MORE PROOF???