My mom trashed all of my music and bracelets yesterday. She was throwing a fit because I didn't take out my dishes, and then it got to the point where she didn't even remember why she was mad at me to begin with and went on about how I'll never get better if I don't try. (Where did that come from?) So I was crying for a couple hours before she even ( Read more... )

I was bitched at by my parents because my mom read my other online journal, in which I don't speak too highly of them, and figured out I was cutting and not eating right. Then they got under my skin about my style and said I'd be happier and less hateful if I wasn't gothic. And my mom said a bunch of bullshit about how I was only cutting over a " ( Read more... )

Well, my family is coming over today for a labor day thingy or whatever. My cousin Stephen, who just got back from the army a few weeks ago, is also visiting. I invited CJ, who seems excited about meeting my cousin. It'll be cool just to spend time with him. I'm wearing the wackiest, most mis-matched outfit right now because I want to freak people ( Read more... )

CJ and I are dating again. Well, not officially. I'll change that here in a second, though ( Read more... )

Broke down in the cafeteria today. It's weird because I swore I was done crying over him, and we happened to get onto the topic again and I just lost it. I sat there for a few seconds with some friends around me and started ranting, then just completely went crazy. A few people gave me a hug and told me it was all right, and Kelsey asked her next ( Read more... )

Joked around with Steven a lot, which is cool. I kept poking his belly button and such. At one point, he grabbed my hands and tried to stop me. His smile is adorable, by the way. Too bad he’s taken ( Read more... )

Well, this guy named Steven - who I’ll nickname Lanky for now - blew a kiss at me during lunch. (We’ve been kind of talking for a few days now.) And later, I found out that he knows I have a small crush on him. Like, I was writing back and forth to one of my friends, saying I was kind of upset because he’s basically taken, and he ended up finding ( Read more... )

I tried calling him a couple days ago and left a message saying I was sorry, and that I just wanted to talk things out. Of course, he never called back. He couldn't have at least texted me saying "I hate you"? Or left me an E-mail about how I need to eat shit and die? No, nothing. Just...nothing. No response. Everything is left to the imagination ( Read more... )

Well, I was told by a friend that he was about to date me again, then he saw the journal entry on VampireFreaks. I had written it the day he broke up with me and I was pissed. So he read it and decided against asking me out again ( Read more... )

Things are all right. I’m starting to get over the break-up and everything, mainly because I’m joking around and meeting some good people. Now when I see him in the halls, I wish he would just trip and smash his skull open. I don’t want him to die! Just…be injured. No amount of physical harm could possibly measure up to all the emotional suffering ( Read more... )