you used to say one day it wouldn't be a secret, and i believed it. we would get lost inside ourselves, play games with our minds and forget about the passing time. do you remember that game we played when we got drunk? trying to catch eachother falling down the stairs, but our jelly bones gave in. we were always giving in. you'd call me at 11 and ( Read more... )

after all we've been though ( Read more... )

when you take off all you're made of ( Read more... )

this is old, and i'm posting it because i realized why i haven't been able to write lately. it's because i don't know what to write about anymore. i used to write about you, i mean practically every entry is about you. but now that there's nothing there anymore, i didn't know what to write about. but i realized it finally, and i'm trying.

what is ( Read more... )

the end.

i can't fucking write anymore. i sit there with my notebook every night feeling like a fucking drone. nothing will come out, nothing. it's just a jumbled mess that is my mind, but it's not what i want it to be. something has got to give. the winter is coming, and i have never been this lonely. i don't want to be alone and cold.

i let the ball drop, who dreams these days anyways? i am nothing anymore. no one is anything, but it doesn't bother me a bit. some would call it fucking up but i call it waking up.

( Read more... )

i turned away
from the angels face
and ended up with nothing.

see if i ever go away
and come back to see
that you forgot me.

see if i ever
wake a dead man again
i cant help loving you.

now maybe ill grow
in this black closet forever
a bonsai girl.

i guess sylvia and charles
have got my strings attached
im never coming back.

i'm so fucking sick
of living in this skin
and pretending every day
that my life is not a game

because it is
and you're just a script
i don't fucking need you
like you think i do

for the record
don't tell me how to cut
out of this skin and into my own
i hope you know