Friends

[throatsore]

Already, I haven't written shit and I'm laughing. Laughing at a word that used to mean something. It used to mean something to us all but now when I read my "friends" journals

Comments

[head_1st4halos]

andi, i love you.
i dont really knwo what else to say but just that and i know we both are crazy busy right now and i can understand that we can't talk that much cuz we're so far apart...but just know i'm here if ya wanna talk or whatever. Hope all is going well w/ya..and i'll call ur dorm soon. love ya hun
MWAH

sorry for the neglect

[throatsore]

i love you too vee. Hope things are going awesome and sorry I haven't called. But did you get the email with the pictures?

[lil_punkgirl]

I realize I let something bad slip. Who hasn't? And the way I percieved the situation you didn't move on right after because you kept stating the fact that "omg I can't believe you let that slip" several times. The fact that you didn't try to get me to come back kinda mad me realize maybe I'm not worth it to you?

I don't remember

[throatsore]

I guess I don't remember saying it several times and if I did it was only because you were denying it. But I do recall asking you why you were leaving and telling you I wasn't mad. But you walked away anyway. Why do you keep running away and waiting for people to chase after you? I want you around Meg, but it's your choice and I won't force you to stay. I've chased after you enough, maybe its your turn to stand through something.

If you recall, I never asked you to leave. In fact, I invited you there. Went so far as to call your phone and Eric's. Thanks for leaving your boyfriend to come hang out with me.

[chinesehicken]

You know, you always amuse me too. To think that you can fix every situation. You say that you hate when Chance does it, so why are you putting it upon yourself to fix everyone's life. Yes, it's great to want to help friends... but it's like your making it your job. I don't want to tell you my secrets in part because I don't want you to try to fix them.. to try to make me feel better about them because it's my job to make myself feel better... to come to terms with what I did. Not yours. And who the hell said I was pissed at you? I didn't want you to grab my arm and say we'll go. I'm sorry that you felt like you had to. No, I wasn't even pissed about the situation of not going to the club.. I was hurt that she didn't think it was necessary to call. That she didn't even want to hang out with me even if we weren't going to to club. Why am I angry? Why are you even asking me? Like it's wrong of me to feel like I do... that I shouldn't be hurt or angry? I don't feel I should have to explain myself... I feel like I do. Take

[throatsore]

I don't know that I can fix every or any situation, but I've always thought it was worth a shot. And I already said, maybe not to you, you hate in others what you find in yourself. And thats fine, if you don't want to tell me your secrets don't because I can't guarantee I won't try to make things better. I never thought you were pissed at me, that was just something I wished I could have done for you but didn't. And I didn't think I HAD to, because, well, I didn't. Feel whatever you feel, I was only looking for the why. I'm sorry, its what I do. Analyize. And good.

I don't know why I want to be everything for everyone and solve all the world's problems, I'd try and stop if I really thought it was that bad...I guess maybe you need to make me see that. But I suppose it's not your job.

[too_mouse]

One day, I'm going to ask you to love me wholy, and I'm going to mean it so damn hard that you're eyes will see diferent colors. We'll call it "the eventual progression of friendship, surmounted by the awkward juxtaposition of my teeth and your unawakened inner potential." I won't expect you to say yes, not ever, but I will expect you to recognize the ache of unwanting romance. Sheathed in the gentle lullabys your grandmother sang you that had no words or stories, I am that request.

Do me next?

[throatsore]

and one day I would have given everything and painted the world brilliant with ease, but now... and anyways, I saw it and heard it long before you.

What do you want?

[too_mouse]

An emotion that didn't eventually hurt.
Also, an apollogy and a promise.
Maybe a visit?

[throatsore]

i offer no guarantees but if you save yourself from love you might just be lying. Show me your whole.

andreaajones@hotmail.com