-
screaming
15 years ago I was 1 month out of River Oaks Hospital. Today I am 48 hours from checking back in. When I went the first time, I thought (and was told by my parents) that would be it. My one shot to get what I could from concentrated treatment. At $900 a day which my insurance didn’t cover, I understood. Since then I have lived like needing that ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
( too much ) -
(Untitled)
I'm curious .... while people are busy preserving the magic of childhood in regard to Santa, the Elf, or various fictional royalty AND simultaneously trying to instill values like honesty, do you think they're also recognizing the irony? And saving money for the intensive therapy to commence when their kids find out the people they trust most in ( Read more... ) -
on being honest
This is a little weird. I just came home from therapy and this is the total opposite of what I said I was going to do today but I can't seem to help it. My plan was doing laundry and cleaning and specifically NOT delving deeper into what I'm thinking/feeling. But here I am. And once again, it's been a long time since I've tried to write anything ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm officially the WORST at following through with things. Not EVERYthing. It's not a universal follow through issue. It's just when the thing only impacts me. I can put off taking care of something for myself better than anyone I've ever met. Seriously. I prioritize everyone and everything over me. It's a big problem. No clue what I'm going to do ( Read more... ) -
haven't given up yet
I'm still sticking with this goal, even though I've yet to answer a SINGLE question from the workbook. I've looked at it easily a hundred times since I set the goal 3 weeks ago. I just can't get past the very first set of questions which, if you've ever seen the Courage to Heal Workbook, tells you just how pitiful I am at the moment. The book ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Doing a great job with my goal, eh? Hahahahahahahaha -
a new goal
So I've really been sucking at balancing the survivor work I'm supposed to be doing with real life which pretty much means that I'm not progressing AT ALL in any way... just passing time. And that sucks and it's stupid. If I have to be alive, I might as well be doing something with my life. But I'm still paralyzed because I'm still so fucked up ( Read more... ) -
mind games
( .... )