my dad told me that i wasn't going to go to college.
.. or at least he wasn't going to pay for it.
and my mom said that if she was me she wouldn't be where i am..
because she would have done more.

and i left the room feeling 1 foot tall.. if even that.
and i crawled under my bed and screamed for almost an hour.

because..
i don't know what to ( Read more... )

i'm tired of crying.
and i just want to sleep.

i was tossing and turning.. asking god to make me forget about it all for at least 5 hours.. just to sleep for a little while.
i'm not good enough for my family. .. .

she was elusive. she was today. she was tomorrow. she was the faintest scent of a cactus flower, the flitting shadow of an elf owl. we did not know what to make of her. in our minds we tried to pin her to corkboard like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew.

i love that.
it's from my favorite book of all time.

:)
i ( Read more... )

"i don't hate my life anymore. at least not today. i guess i consider myself a recovering pessimest... or at least i'm trying. i used to be completely negative and cynical about everyone and everything, but i found that made it difficult to breathe. so now i'm trying to be more of a realist. that way i can be negative when i choose to, but there's ( Read more... )

"You have a level head on your shoulders.. but you need to talk, Amanda, because if you don’t talk, you are almost saying that the things that are happening aren’t real..

You have many profound thoughts.. but you need to share them more.

When I talked to them today and they told me all these things, I would ask “What is Amanda saying?” and they ( Read more... )

the doctor scooped out a piece of my head.. set it on the table..
and asked me if i wanted a band-aid.

I reading a new book..
It's called "The Myth of You and Me"

it's about friendship.
looks promising.

The moon was shining so bright ..
but I was shining too.

:)

dang.

.. to kids from 1 to 92 ..
((merry christmas to you))
------

I really don't understand chemistry.

... ... ... ... .. . .   .

But.. I am wearing pajama pants with snowmen on them, and tomorrow morning I am drinking some French Vanilla Cappinchino with that boy I love..
and that means that something is bound to go right..

I am ( Read more... )

Just thought I'd add that I am also the stupidest girl on the entire planet.
goodnight.

On June 22 I was the happiest girl on the entire planet.
And I haven't lost that feeling.

Thought I'd share.