Writing Excercise (Excuse to Promote Wishlist)
Title:The Result of A Relationship
Pairing:JunMa
Rating:G
Summary: Toma gets bored but then has a change of heart
Genre: FAIL!Angst
Note: Writing excercise (to get the juices flowing I guess). Horrible! Horrible! Nonsensical!
1
“I think…I think I mo-we moved on…from each other”
There was a moment when he looked at me, a moment when his eyes were dilated, a moment I imagined they had watered but it was just a second after which he had averted his eyes, took of his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose like he does every night before going to bed.
But I knew that I wouldn’t be going to the bathroom to brush my teeth now.
There’s a weight on my shoulders that tells me that I’m ready to leave.
I see his feet shift its like he doesn’t know which way to go.
Like he’s lost.
At that moment my chest swells, telling me to hold his hand and tell him that I’m there to come back to and he isn’t lost. But there are tickets in my pocket and they tingle against the fabric of my shirt and reverberate to my bare skin.
Impatience
I can’t tell if it’s for the good or bad. It’s just there.
He’s half turned away when he walks to me; lifts his hand. For a moment it lingers in front of my face, drops then quickly comes up to run through my hair.
I’m about to break, under his soft touch.
I remember his caresses; his loving fingers drawing patterns on my skin.
If he kisses me I’ll break and I’ll crumble into his arms.
But he doesn’t, there is the barest of linger against my cheek and he’s going.
The bedroom door clicks and he’s gone.
He’s five steps and a door away from me.
He’s gone.
But there is something else that’s right behind me. That awaits me. For which I’ve awaited.
I turn and see the front door; it leads me out of the apartment.
The chill of the night hits my face and makes its way slowly onto my covered skin.
It sinks in.
I’ve left him behind.
2.
We grew up together. We live in the same city. We work in the same company. We have the same friends.
It’s New Year and the Countdown just ended, there are beer cans opening back stage already, loud cheers.
Everyone is one a concert high, too early for the adrenaline to have calmed down.
The sequences on his jacket catches the fluorescent light and sparkles as he stumbles forward, sharing awkward half hugs, receiving and giving pats on the back to other Johnnies, staffs and whoever he meets or can reach with his hands preoccupied with a beer can.
He’s tipsy, he must be, his hair is awry and he doesn’t even seem to care. He must be tipsy.
The can is rotated between his fingers before he looks up suddenly and right into my eyes.
He leans forward and all I can do is swallow. I might have not wanted to be in a relationship anymore but how can you not love someone without whose presence you can’t even remember a minute of your life.
Aiba comes and jumps onto his back and the moment passes as he turns around and bounds off towards his bandmates.
I sigh in relief.
3.
Before it seemed like it was never enough but now I realize I see him a lot. More often than not we have interviews or shooting schedules in the same building.
Maybe its awkwardness that seems to magnify the time tenfolds. But every awkward meeting in the hall haunts me for hours onwards.
Like he had wanted to say something. Like he suppressed it.
I realized I really hadn’t gotten the freedom that I had hoped for.
His thoughts never left me.
In fact they were driving me crazy.
I didn’t know his schedule. I didn’t know what he was eating and with who. I didn’t know how Nino was being mean to Aiba and how Ohno spacing off too much was scaring him. I didn’t know how tired he was.
I wasn’t sure he needed me to know.
I was scared he didn’t.
A/N: completely random place to stop. I know but it's just an exercise and a chance to let you know I have a wishlist! You can wish for it to be continued even :P
Pairing:JunMa
Rating:G
Summary: Toma gets bored but then has a change of heart
Genre: FAIL!Angst
Note: Writing excercise (to get the juices flowing I guess). Horrible! Horrible! Nonsensical!
1
“I think…I think I mo-we moved on…from each other”
There was a moment when he looked at me, a moment when his eyes were dilated, a moment I imagined they had watered but it was just a second after which he had averted his eyes, took of his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose like he does every night before going to bed.
But I knew that I wouldn’t be going to the bathroom to brush my teeth now.
There’s a weight on my shoulders that tells me that I’m ready to leave.
I see his feet shift its like he doesn’t know which way to go.
Like he’s lost.
At that moment my chest swells, telling me to hold his hand and tell him that I’m there to come back to and he isn’t lost. But there are tickets in my pocket and they tingle against the fabric of my shirt and reverberate to my bare skin.
Impatience
I can’t tell if it’s for the good or bad. It’s just there.
He’s half turned away when he walks to me; lifts his hand. For a moment it lingers in front of my face, drops then quickly comes up to run through my hair.
I’m about to break, under his soft touch.
I remember his caresses; his loving fingers drawing patterns on my skin.
If he kisses me I’ll break and I’ll crumble into his arms.
But he doesn’t, there is the barest of linger against my cheek and he’s going.
The bedroom door clicks and he’s gone.
He’s five steps and a door away from me.
He’s gone.
But there is something else that’s right behind me. That awaits me. For which I’ve awaited.
I turn and see the front door; it leads me out of the apartment.
The chill of the night hits my face and makes its way slowly onto my covered skin.
It sinks in.
I’ve left him behind.
2.
We grew up together. We live in the same city. We work in the same company. We have the same friends.
It’s New Year and the Countdown just ended, there are beer cans opening back stage already, loud cheers.
Everyone is one a concert high, too early for the adrenaline to have calmed down.
The sequences on his jacket catches the fluorescent light and sparkles as he stumbles forward, sharing awkward half hugs, receiving and giving pats on the back to other Johnnies, staffs and whoever he meets or can reach with his hands preoccupied with a beer can.
He’s tipsy, he must be, his hair is awry and he doesn’t even seem to care. He must be tipsy.
The can is rotated between his fingers before he looks up suddenly and right into my eyes.
He leans forward and all I can do is swallow. I might have not wanted to be in a relationship anymore but how can you not love someone without whose presence you can’t even remember a minute of your life.
Aiba comes and jumps onto his back and the moment passes as he turns around and bounds off towards his bandmates.
I sigh in relief.
3.
Before it seemed like it was never enough but now I realize I see him a lot. More often than not we have interviews or shooting schedules in the same building.
Maybe its awkwardness that seems to magnify the time tenfolds. But every awkward meeting in the hall haunts me for hours onwards.
Like he had wanted to say something. Like he suppressed it.
I realized I really hadn’t gotten the freedom that I had hoped for.
His thoughts never left me.
In fact they were driving me crazy.
I didn’t know his schedule. I didn’t know what he was eating and with who. I didn’t know how Nino was being mean to Aiba and how Ohno spacing off too much was scaring him. I didn’t know how tired he was.
I wasn’t sure he needed me to know.
I was scared he didn’t.
A/N: completely random place to stop. I know but it's just an exercise and a chance to let you know I have a wishlist! You can wish for it to be continued even :P