i'm so dizzy with- all these stupid things that don't matter. you people are infectious in the worst ways. that exact moment when i feel the most lost, on this earth there is only one thing that makes me feel sane, i just imagine my cheeks in his palms, holding me steady, the spinning stops.

it's one of those nights i'll fall asleep to a pillowcase soaked with tears, for reasons i'm to tired to understand.

and those plastered with titles like "best friend" are the ones that feel the farthest from me, the ones rubbing me raw with boredom.

my mind is shouting PATIENCE but i can't hear it over the throbbing of my heart ( Read more... )

So ( Read more... )

another dark drive home on autopilot ( Read more... )

we sat on the porch in the dark and cold ( Read more... )

dear you ( Read more... )

i'm spending too many hours pushed against fluorescence. (you know it's worth it for the minutes with his face.) i'm begging stars and sands against my toes. anxious for noisy vans pressing heat. the miles rolling away, as i waste so many afternoons --fucking reckless; i hate it. this only felt like summer when i saw the people i barely knew ( Read more... )

obsessions are contagious, really ( Read more... )

i don't like the smell of these bedsheets against bareskin.
or; these memories pressedagainst my lips.

the way things weave their way through my neurons, the way i can't stop shaking despite. the way this heat closes in and i will never be complete, infinite empty stretching past. what would you have me do?

ps. i don't miss december any longer