i've seen a picture i can't find now of a protest sign with the words ( Read more... )

School isn’t going well at all. The classes are alternately fascinating, stimulating, frustrating and inspiring but I have and have always had trouble getting work done and handing things in on time. By trouble, I mean extreme fucking anxiety and distraction that erases knowledge of impending deadlines from my mind and causes me to be unable to ( Read more... )

being female is terrifying as hell no way can i rationalize all the bleeding going on out-of-cycle as i ease myself into a regimen of Aviane oral contraceptive. all the paraphenalia surrounding being hetero-sexually active makes me feel so drained.

i awake from fourteen hours of sleep, effortlessly avoiding quotidian life. i am still waiting to wake from twenty years of a sleep that runs deeper still.

given how closely our lives are followed through the cameras carried by the people around us i find it telling there hasn't been a picture of me taken by or with any friends in over a year. i can't believe how little time i've spent with anyone in this last year. i can't believe how paralyzed by fear i am when faced with the prospect of making new ( Read more... )

i wish i had spent more time with my sisters during this last summer we will all be together for such a long time, maybe ever ? i begin to resent ___ for taking up so much of my time, being so selfish and needy in the face of knowing i was leaving them so soon. not allowing me to bring them if we were spending time to gether, or the other way

actually, yes, i do get to 'sit alone' if it means i get to avoid sitting anywhere near you, assholes. ugh, children, please.

living in uni residence is a joke and i hate everyone ! why am i even surprised.

it would be so lovely to be able to , through body language and mannerisms and words and attitude, welcome all the world in at once while still conveying intention and boundaries. there is an ideal me in my head, and she knows how to do that so clearly and without anxiety. but i don't know how to bring this self into being. you know ? it makes me ( Read more... )

i think two or three people have told me this in the last week. i acknowledge the need for it, though i believe i have as much cause to be told to stop feeling sorry for myself and take actions. both are true. i want to tape up letters on my door that say this; be gentle.

♥projects:♥

I would like to make a harness like thisi am all out of shoes, and it would be nice to find a pair to decorate all over, with painted flowers and ribbon laces and sequins. also to sequin decorate my pink sweater ( Read more... )