( Cut for Your Protection )

Jump in my Car is the latest magnum opus from Hasselhoffenstein. It's got the same cheesy blue-screen effects and repetitive chorus you loved in Hooked on a Feeling, PLUS these special extra features - Hasselhoff acting like a pervy, grabby old man, a total prick, and a spastic manwhore ( Read more... )

Tim Horton's To Open in the States

I am made disproportionately squeeful by this announcement.

In other international news, I'm going to be in Toronto for a conference from Aug 5-10th. I'd love to catch up with any Torontonians (I'm lookin' at you mybadhairlife and sarcasma to see what the locals do for fun. Not that there isn't a cornucopia of fun for a tourist ( Read more... )

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Advertiser: McDonald's

Scene opens to ominous music, with a guy sitting at a desk eating a chicken sandwich. His coworker leans over and warns "if you keep eating those, you're going to turn into a chickenWhen the guy gets home, he doesn't notice that he's dropped a chicken feather in the hallway. He undoes his tie and picks another out of his ( Read more... )

I know you've all seen that insipid Chris Bliss video where he juggles manicly to a Beatles song, right? Check out what a real juggler can do with an 8-foot plexiglass cone. Wild!.

The haiku meme thingSlices, dices your Ell-Jay ( Read more... )

Walking to the ice cream shop down the street, Ivy is teasing her big sister, and punctuates it with a Nelson-esque "Ha Ha!" Maybe her sister has taught her that, or maybe kids just innately know how to laugh mockingly, I don't know ( Read more... )

COOKIE MONSTER SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME REALLY MONSTER?

Nothing much to say about this except a hearty What. The. Fuck ( Read more... )