blah blah blah depression. blah blah blah drinking. blah blah blah girlfriend. blah blah blah school. blah blah blah books. [pseudo witty remark]. blah blah blah zine. blah blah blah self-loathing.

really, what the hell am I doing here? Not just this wonderful interweb community, but this damn place. I am tired of being a teenager. I want my

So indeed. The fucking up of my life has continued. I went to AA but left early (with Alex) because it wasn't very fun (hah!) and made me more depressed and left me craving alcohol. Bestest thing evar. I have an infection in my left leg that turned into an abscess. The pus was removed and packing was inserted while I found out I am impervious to ( Read more... )

So, you remember that New Years drunk post? Yeah, the one where I said "I am done with drinking"? I didn't. I got drunk last night and decided to go to AA. I called Kendl for support and she sent me a link to a meeting by me. It's also on campus. WTF, why can't I be able to do something fun normally? Oh well, look out alcoholics of Belmar, here I ( Read more... )

goddamn what a pointless waste of time life is. lets all be drunk and fuck everything. i'm tired of this shit. i think i like my new girlfriend a lot. but i don't know where the fuck my heart lies. i hate this shit. what is the goddamn point. seriously. can anyone tell me ( Read more... )

i am very glad i have the friends i do. you guys rock. 

Andrew and I, along with Mull and Maria, went to the PRX and Panera in Princeton today. I bought a bunch of cds: AFI - Art of Drowning, Refused - The New Noise Theology E.P., Crystal Skulls - Blocked Numbers, Ten Yard Fight - The Only Way, and The Pixies - Doolittle. All this and a Tracy Chapman CD for my Dad for Christmas. All those for under $25 ( Read more... )

I'd drink to the fact that I don't really know who I am anymore, but I can't drink anymore so now I'm stuck with these feelings (and so are you poor reader ( Read more... )

It is a good thing that I leave my room tonight. My medicine may be working. I plan on doing a reading of a story I wrote with a picture prompt at Brownwater tonight. Wish me luck, probably an edit here later. 

Since it's the cool thing to do, I"m going to do a Thanksgiving post. I am thanksful for my friends and for Franz Kafka. In that order. 

I'm pretty sure God is a pretty bored person and that's why S/He fucks with us all ( Read more... )