As I get older, I realize that I'm not as passive as I once was before. It's quite interesting the struggle and mixed emotions I feel which tends to contradict each other. I realize that my life has always been based and defined around the people and environment around me, right now, it's just me and the world
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I don't understand where you get the idea that you're second-best, though. In my mind, with the things you're good at (dancing, photography, various creative endeavors), you've always been the first person to come to mind.
You would be hard pressed to find many people our age, who know exactly what their purpose in life is. You are not alone.
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