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Did you ever have one of those weeks where you felt like you lost your best friend, had to progress in your never-ending break up with one of the loves of your life, and realized that your sweetest cat needed to be euthanized? This week blows ( Read more... ) -
just a rant
I have had many discussions about lifestyles or decisions out of societal norms being more fluid in many ways than things that conform. The very lack of definition, leaves the definition and experience wide open to create exactly what one wants. I've been dancing a lot with the "selfish" word, intention, or meaning for myself this autumn. During ( Read more... ) -
moving toward "normal"?
Wade has been back in the house for two weeks now. It is wonderful to have him back home, so nice to have most of our routine and certainly the company. I adore him, and appreciate his friendship, his love when I feel it. We feel a far way from normal at moments. Sometimes it will still be tense between us, he still doesn't like living with ( Read more... ) -
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We had "the talk." It went remarkably well. I cried only a little. I put in the necessary bits that he would see that he truly did act very different in the beginning and that I wasn't leaving him as much as letting him out of a situation where he is clearly failing (he fully admitted to being a lousy boyfriend) and allowing us to support each ( Read more... ) -
insensitive
Everything with Jesse degenerated so quickly. He went from some sweet romantic into an insensitive clod. I don't even know when it happened, but it felt almost over night ( Read more... ) -
The test
I just killed, slaughtered (with love of course) my real estate licensing test. In reality, the exact result is not given, so I may well have barely squeezed by, but since I get to make up a story either way, I'll just say I crushed it. All of this despite an incredibly emotionally tumultuous time preceding the exam ( Read more... ) -
sweetest day
My men came through for me in incredible ways for my birthday. First thing in the morning, Jesse whispered "Happy Birthday" as I slid into his arms for a quick hug before he had to fly off to work at 4:15 am. Wade held me around the waist at breakfast and told me how much he loved me, and that he wanted to do something nice for my birthday. When ( Read more... ) -
Finding spaces
Both Jesse and I still see him as a bit of a guest in the house. In that respect, it is hard for me to leave him to his own devices, and it is hard for him to "be" in the house. Soon, we'll both get used to it, I imagine ( Read more... ) -
Joy
Autumn is in full swing here with bright yellow and cheerful red leaves. The mornings are cool, the afternoons are warm and wonderful. Northern California must be damn close to heaven. We've been going on short adventures on our new bikes! What a perfect way to explore nature and the local paths ( Read more... ) -
Slipping
I am starting to feel that Jesse is not physically attracted to me at all. The first time he was certainly interested, but then, I was interesting, as a conquest - a "cougar" or "milf" and just someone older. I can see why that would be fascinating. I worry that if I continue a physical relationship with him, it will ultimately lead to damage ( Read more... )